What Is A Real Mom?

Since beginning our adoption journey we have received many comments from others, some of which are alittle hurtful. One in particular has been like a knife in my heart "what about Jae-min's REAL mother". Each and every time I hear those words I cringe. Jae-min is a very lucky boy to have been loved by three mothers...all of which are very REAL. His birthmother who gave him life and then courageously made an adoption plan, his foster mother "omma" who has loved and cared for him so deeply and will have a difficult time letting him go, and me his mom who can't wait to love him for the rest of my life. All of us will always be REAL in Jae-min's world and he will know just how much we each loved (and still love) him.
We are a REAL couple expecting a baby. We like to do all the same things other expecting couples like to do. We have been researching baby products, planning the nursery, and registering. We have all the same fears, questions, doubts, anticipation any REAL couple would have at this time. We have all the same dreams, happiness, and joy too. We welcome any questions or conversations you would have with a pregnant couple because we too are waiting for our baby to arrive!!! I was speaking to a coworker before the holidays and I made a comment about how forgetful I have been lately. She responded with two little words "pregnancy brain" I said I'm not pregnant and she said "close enough" I guess she got just how REAL of a mother I already am.
We ordered our baby crib today and dresser and boy did it feel very real... walking among many pregnant people I felt like I belonged, like I was a REAL mom too. Aside from the slip on the ice in the parking lot and a sore tushy it was an awesome experience.
I think my vivid dreams of holding my baby, my tummy aches, and my fears of not being a good mom make it very real already.
So, what is a REAL mom you ask? ME

2009!!!!

Happy New Year!!! Joe and I rang in the new year quietly at home due to the snow, but we had a great time. We talked about what a whirlwind year it has been. From the beginning of 2008 when we felt so defeated after seeing the writing on the wall about how long China was really going to take. To listening to our hearts in the spring and realizing maybe our first baby was somewhere else, Korea. To this summer finally being officially waiting. To the best ending ever imagined..... being matched with our beautiful baby boy!!!!! We realized that this year ,2009 ,is when we will hold our baby and become his parents forever. It's such a great feeling, not being certain of the month, yet to be so certain of the year. This is it. 2009 is our year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still can't believe it. I know what your thinking, believe it or your going to be so not prepared. From the preparations, to the trip of a lifetime, to becoming parents, to raising, loving, and getting to know our son, this will be a year to remember. Happy 2009 sweet Jae-min!!!

We would like to also say a happy new year to Ava, our daughter who grows in our hearts. China referrals came in this week and they referred through Feb 28, 2006. So, in all of 2008 they made referrals for just 2 months Jan and Feb of 2006. Doing the math we have 14 months to go to get to us as 5/25/07, and if they referred 2 months a year that would be another 7 years. No one knows what the future holds for any of us. For right now all we know is we have a son waiting for us in Korea and a daughter that we dream of in China.

Off To Korea!!!!

...Not us yet, silly. This weekend we sent Jae-min's care package to Korea. We put many things inside...gifts for him as well as for his foster family. Then we put in extra hugs, kisses, and love, sealed it up and mailed it halfway around the world. We were alittle disappointed because we mailed it from the regular post office and they can't track international packages. We wish we had known this before they stamped it a million times, put it in their bin, and charged us lots to mail. Oh well. We have faith it gets there and Jae-min loves everything. Fingers crossed. With all that extra love we put inside it has to get there, right?
We also emailed our agency to make sure they received our BIG packet of paperwork and that everything looked good. Everything looked good to her and she mailed it to Korea on 12/22, so the ball is in full motion now!!! We wait for all the paperwork to be filed over the next several months and before you know it we'll be off to Korea.
For now our papers and care package are on their way.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

....to all. We had a great Christmas with family and friends and really enjoyed sharing our news with everyone. It was the first time we had seen many of you since the news of Jae-min, so thank you for your kind words.
Today we celebrated our last Christmas as a family of two (plus Marty). Jae-min was never far from our thoughts today. I'm not sure he had the extravagant celebration we had to celebrate the season and I found myself missing him terribly today. You would think that by knowing about him that it would have made the day easier, and it did, it's now just a different kind of longing. It's hard to wrap your brain around the fact that Jae-min is a living, breathing, little man somewhere and he's ours, all ours. I had made a comment to a friend the other day " I can't believe I'm going to have a son" and her response was "You already have a son, he just lives very far away" That comment gave me peace and of course made me cry. Because yes, we have a son and today we really really missed him.
A special thank you to all those that included Jae-min in your gift giving this year. He received so many wonderful and thoughtful things and those gifts and the gesture meant more to us than you'll ever know. Santa even dropped a little something off with Jae-min's name on it!!!
Merry Christmas sweet boy!!!!

That's My Boy!!!!

Last night we attended Joe's annual Christmas party. We were excited to go this year as many of Joe's colleagues are also his friends and we always have a great time. We printed smaller pictures of Jae-min and put them in a photo album to share with just a couple of people. When we arrived several close friends jumped up and congratulated us which was so sweet. I thought we would make the picture sharing low key when all of a sudden Joe begins to rummage in my purse for the photo book. The next thing I knew he joined a circle of his friends (all big, burly, macho construction/electrician guys) and began flipping through the book!!! I then heard the most magical words ever come out of Joe's mouth "IT'S MY BOY" The picture that followed will be forever etched in my brain. Joe standing there with the proudest, biggest smile on his face. In that moment I fell in love with him all over again. This moment was followed by all of these big, burly, macho guys leaning in for a closer look.... their faces softening, smiling, and just pure joy and congratulations and happiness for both of us. Joe has found so much support from these guys and to see him so excited to share "his boy" with them was priceless. I sat back and enjoyed watching. I don't think we've smiled this much in a very long time.
Tonight was Joe's night to feel proud, and boy did he look good doing it!!!!!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Today we mailed off our official acceptance of referral packet!!!!!!!!!!! So, hoping that nothing unforseen happens, this would mean Jae-min will be stuck with us forever. The packet was big, with lots to read, sign, notorize, and copy. It had to go in a specific order and mailed in a certain way. Ugh. Fingers crossed that we dotted the i's and crossed the t's so no hold ups happen. We meticulously went over each form over and over to hope it was all correct. This is the final paperwork that's in our hands. Now, we throw up our hands to the fates and more paperwork will be processed in Korea and the US. I'm a bit of a control freak so this is making me a bit nervous, but we hope we get very kind and competent people who's desk our papers pass and maybe when they see that adorable face they'll move things right along. Here's to hoping for a speedy travel call!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told my work yesterday about Jae-min at our annual Christmas party. Did you hear the screams from where you were sitting? It was such an amazing reaction and everyone is so thrilled. We have 3 pregnant people due this spring so it's fun to be waiting for our babies together (although ours just lives halfway around the world :) I got offers for a play group with an OT and PT in attendance so we'll have lots of fun!!!
Jae-min is so loved and real already it boggles our minds

Things Keep Getting Better!!!!!!

Today we got home from work, checked the computer to find the cutest little face staring back at us. We got updated pictures of Jae-min!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were nervous to look at first, but quickly got over that and saw the cutest baby ever..... We didn't think he could get any cuter but we were wrong. This proud mommy and daddy are just soooooooooooooooo in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's perfect. We don't know how old he is in the pictures or any updated measurements, but we'll take what we can get. We stared at the photo so intently and know its him by the nose... it's the same as his referral photo. He's definately being well taken care of as he looks chunky (and short, he'll fit right in).

Of course its bittersweet to see him growing halfway around the world and we're missing it. But we have these pictures to hold us over and we are thankful to his foster family for caring for him so deeply. They will always hold a special place in our hearts.

So, without further ado, here's a grown up Jae-min!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cute huh?

Where's his neck? you ask. We're wondering that too Haha