Happy 7 months Jae-min!!!

Oh, this is getting hard. Today Jae-min turned 7 months old. It's just a little reminder of how much he's growing and changing and we're missing it. We've been working hard on clearing out his room and tonight Joe put up a ceiling light for him. It looks great!!
We also got him an outfit and I made chocolate chip cookies to celebrate. We wish it could be different. We wish we had him in our arms tonight but we don't so we'll make the most of it. So we'll raise a cookie in honor of our sweet Jae-min!!! Oh, how badly do we want you home.
I'll leave you with a poem I found that I have on my nightstand and read before I fall asleep. Tonight is a great night to share it (and maybe you can say it too)

May you be safe while you are waiting

May you be safe and sleep soundly through the night
May you be safe as you wake in morning light
May you feel our love from so far away
May it comfort and protect you throughout the day

We will pray for you, our little one
Until our time of waiting is done
We will pray that the Lord will keep you safe from harm
Until the child of our hearts becomes the child in our arms.

A Fun Way To Spend A Saturday

Today Joe and I went to Babies R Us to register for things we'll need when Jae-min comes home. We had so much fun!!! We have wanted to do this forever and we really enjoyed ourselves. We had our camera and of course were the crazy couple taking pictures of the experience.
I was alittle nervous initially but was pleasantly surprised when one of the questions on the form was Are you adopting? yeah I thought they would get it...but Nope When it came to the due date we wrote Spring 09. The girl helping us told us we had to put a date. I said we're adopting so we don't know. She stared at us blankly and continued handing us the registering gun. When we looked at the form after scanning everything we noticed she had made up her own due date 4/20/09 What???? Well, I guess that's spring after all. So, no we don't have that date anywhere on any of our forms. Actually, we were alittle disappointed as we were hoping for a sooner "due date" Haha. When we got home last night we edited it from our computer to say 3/1/09, ah that feels so much better!!! But no, we still don't know exactly when Jae-min will be ready to come home.
We were there for 3 hours Yes I said 3 hours. We registered for many things older babies would use and really tried to keep Jae-min in mind. It was a blast!!!
While there we bought a comfy chair and ottoman for the nursery (seen in the photo) where Joe took a little break from all the baby looking. He was a trooper and actually had fun. He was actually really into it and we loved looking at all the baby stuff together.
Now all we need is the baby so hurry home Jae-min!!!

Guess Who's Growing?

......Jae-min!!!! We received well baby checks today from November and December and our little man is growing halfway around the world!! In Nov. he weighed 12 pounds and was 21 inches tall. In Dec he weighed 15 pounds and was 22 inches tall. So, it looks like we have a short pudgy one on our hands. Boy, did God put the right baby into our family or what? We also got a developmental report from Nov and Dec as well and he looks where he should be for his adjusted age. Remember, Jae-min was born early so all his development will be affected by this. From the report it looks like he's doing things he should be doing had he been born on time. All in all, nothing alarming was mentioned which makes us soooooooo happy.
It's bittersweet to read these reports. Happy that he's growing and doing well in his omma's care, but sad that we're missing it. How do you miss someone you don't even know? Looking forward to more well baby checks and to getting him home. Keep up the good work Jae-min. Mommy and Daddy love you!!!

What Is A Real Mom?

Since beginning our adoption journey we have received many comments from others, some of which are alittle hurtful. One in particular has been like a knife in my heart "what about Jae-min's REAL mother". Each and every time I hear those words I cringe. Jae-min is a very lucky boy to have been loved by three mothers...all of which are very REAL. His birthmother who gave him life and then courageously made an adoption plan, his foster mother "omma" who has loved and cared for him so deeply and will have a difficult time letting him go, and me his mom who can't wait to love him for the rest of my life. All of us will always be REAL in Jae-min's world and he will know just how much we each loved (and still love) him.
We are a REAL couple expecting a baby. We like to do all the same things other expecting couples like to do. We have been researching baby products, planning the nursery, and registering. We have all the same fears, questions, doubts, anticipation any REAL couple would have at this time. We have all the same dreams, happiness, and joy too. We welcome any questions or conversations you would have with a pregnant couple because we too are waiting for our baby to arrive!!! I was speaking to a coworker before the holidays and I made a comment about how forgetful I have been lately. She responded with two little words "pregnancy brain" I said I'm not pregnant and she said "close enough" I guess she got just how REAL of a mother I already am.
We ordered our baby crib today and dresser and boy did it feel very real... walking among many pregnant people I felt like I belonged, like I was a REAL mom too. Aside from the slip on the ice in the parking lot and a sore tushy it was an awesome experience.
I think my vivid dreams of holding my baby, my tummy aches, and my fears of not being a good mom make it very real already.
So, what is a REAL mom you ask? ME

2009!!!!

Happy New Year!!! Joe and I rang in the new year quietly at home due to the snow, but we had a great time. We talked about what a whirlwind year it has been. From the beginning of 2008 when we felt so defeated after seeing the writing on the wall about how long China was really going to take. To listening to our hearts in the spring and realizing maybe our first baby was somewhere else, Korea. To this summer finally being officially waiting. To the best ending ever imagined..... being matched with our beautiful baby boy!!!!! We realized that this year ,2009 ,is when we will hold our baby and become his parents forever. It's such a great feeling, not being certain of the month, yet to be so certain of the year. This is it. 2009 is our year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still can't believe it. I know what your thinking, believe it or your going to be so not prepared. From the preparations, to the trip of a lifetime, to becoming parents, to raising, loving, and getting to know our son, this will be a year to remember. Happy 2009 sweet Jae-min!!!

We would like to also say a happy new year to Ava, our daughter who grows in our hearts. China referrals came in this week and they referred through Feb 28, 2006. So, in all of 2008 they made referrals for just 2 months Jan and Feb of 2006. Doing the math we have 14 months to go to get to us as 5/25/07, and if they referred 2 months a year that would be another 7 years. No one knows what the future holds for any of us. For right now all we know is we have a son waiting for us in Korea and a daughter that we dream of in China.

Off To Korea!!!!

...Not us yet, silly. This weekend we sent Jae-min's care package to Korea. We put many things inside...gifts for him as well as for his foster family. Then we put in extra hugs, kisses, and love, sealed it up and mailed it halfway around the world. We were alittle disappointed because we mailed it from the regular post office and they can't track international packages. We wish we had known this before they stamped it a million times, put it in their bin, and charged us lots to mail. Oh well. We have faith it gets there and Jae-min loves everything. Fingers crossed. With all that extra love we put inside it has to get there, right?
We also emailed our agency to make sure they received our BIG packet of paperwork and that everything looked good. Everything looked good to her and she mailed it to Korea on 12/22, so the ball is in full motion now!!! We wait for all the paperwork to be filed over the next several months and before you know it we'll be off to Korea.
For now our papers and care package are on their way.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

....to all. We had a great Christmas with family and friends and really enjoyed sharing our news with everyone. It was the first time we had seen many of you since the news of Jae-min, so thank you for your kind words.
Today we celebrated our last Christmas as a family of two (plus Marty). Jae-min was never far from our thoughts today. I'm not sure he had the extravagant celebration we had to celebrate the season and I found myself missing him terribly today. You would think that by knowing about him that it would have made the day easier, and it did, it's now just a different kind of longing. It's hard to wrap your brain around the fact that Jae-min is a living, breathing, little man somewhere and he's ours, all ours. I had made a comment to a friend the other day " I can't believe I'm going to have a son" and her response was "You already have a son, he just lives very far away" That comment gave me peace and of course made me cry. Because yes, we have a son and today we really really missed him.
A special thank you to all those that included Jae-min in your gift giving this year. He received so many wonderful and thoughtful things and those gifts and the gesture meant more to us than you'll ever know. Santa even dropped a little something off with Jae-min's name on it!!!
Merry Christmas sweet boy!!!!