As Thanksgiving approaches we thought it was a good time to put things into perspective and to be thankful for all that we have (which we know is alot). We are blessed with so much its sometimes easy to overlook what's right in front of you. So, tonight we are thankful for:
1. Each other. We continue to be 2 peas in a pod, happy. There is no one in this world I would rather be on this journey with.
2. Our family and friends. All the support and your health as well as our own. Stay healthy everyone so we can all enjoy KB and Ava together.
3. This journey to our children. We are thankful we had the courage to listen to our hearts and follow them. Even though this journey is tough at times, we're thankful for our spots in two lines. We have learned so much about our selves and each other and we look forward to discovering even more.
4. And lastly, a birthmother who will be so courageous in making an adoption plan. We only hope we make her proud.
At the Thanksgiving table we will bring KB and Ava in our hearts. You won't be able to see them, but if you try real hard I bet you'll be able to feel them. We can.
MARTIN'S LITTLE DRAGON'S!!!!
11/26/08
11/19/08
3 Months Down!!!!!
Today marks 3 months in our wait for KB!!! Tonight we celebrated quietly at home thinking and talking about our future. We just can't wait to meet this little bundle and find out what all this fuss has been about. So...in honor of this upcoming day I finished my first knitting project since my class last spring (I know, I know get a move on would ya) but ta da................a special gift for KB made especially by me, mom to be. Isn't it cute? It came out great and I loved making it. It was a little surreal when it was finished and we put it on the table downstairs. We both just looked at it and around the same time started laughing. Someday there will be a cute little head and face under that hat. How stinkin cute. Joe was afraid that KB will get made fun of at the park because of the pom pom but I think it's cute!!!!
You may be wondering why blue? Do we know something you don't. No, we still don't know if KB is a boy or a girl. Initially they were thinking boy but others have been surprised by a girl referral so we just don't know. I knitted blue because, well, I just did. Maybe a mommy to be intuition, maybe I just liked the color, or maybe I'll knit a little pink or purple one next. It was just the project I needed and we love it. So...tonight we think of KB bundled in a little blue hat made with love, enormous love!!!
Oh, and Martin can't wait for KB either. He wants to give up the modeling and go back to just being a DOG!!!!
You may be wondering why blue? Do we know something you don't. No, we still don't know if KB is a boy or a girl. Initially they were thinking boy but others have been surprised by a girl referral so we just don't know. I knitted blue because, well, I just did. Maybe a mommy to be intuition, maybe I just liked the color, or maybe I'll knit a little pink or purple one next. It was just the project I needed and we love it. So...tonight we think of KB bundled in a little blue hat made with love, enormous love!!!
Oh, and Martin can't wait for KB either. He wants to give up the modeling and go back to just being a DOG!!!!
11/12/08
Just One More Disappointment
...in this journey!!
Last night we attended our monthly waiting family meeting (which was rescheduled from last Thurs due to scheduling conflicts with social worker). We were excited to go and became more excited when three families who have been home for 2 weeks from China brought their babies in to show them off. They were adorable!!! All around 10 months old and one just loved Joe!! It was so fun to hear their stories and see their faces so happy. We also met two other families in the process adopting babies from Korea. The night was going so great and we were feeling so uplifted and then the disappointing news. Our agency has decided to end these monthly groups for reasons they would not discuss. Needless to say there were shocked faces as some of these families have been coming for 3 years (China waiting families). After the initial shock the tears started flowing from families who have been with the group a long time. Then it was almost a mutiny.
I am saddened because we finally felt like we found a place where we fit in and people "got us". I am sad to not form those bonds with other adoptive families and to share in their joys as they would one day share in mine. I am sad that now poor Joe will have to again listen to all my ramblings and he is so sweet to do it. I had found a place where I didn't feel "crazy" and could feel the way I felt and others were feeling the same way. Somedays I feel as if my head is going to pop off and it was nice to know I wasn't alone. We know that unless you have ever been where we are you just can't understand, and we are sad that those that know are being taken away. I thought I had found a glimmer of hope in this hellish journey. Disappointingly, I guess not.
There will be another group next month and then maybe one in Jan. but that's it, unless of course by some miracle they rethink this decision and let the group continue. I didn't realize how dependent I was on that support after only just a few times going. It just always feels like we are truly alone.
Update:
China referrals arrived this week. A huge disappointing month as they only matched two days. That's right...2 days Feb 17,2006 is the new cutoff. Disappointing to say the least!!!
For our agency Korea had 11 referrals for the month of Oct which was very large. We hope for more big months!!!
Thanks for listening. Just keep us in your thoughts as some days are just so hard.
Last night we attended our monthly waiting family meeting (which was rescheduled from last Thurs due to scheduling conflicts with social worker). We were excited to go and became more excited when three families who have been home for 2 weeks from China brought their babies in to show them off. They were adorable!!! All around 10 months old and one just loved Joe!! It was so fun to hear their stories and see their faces so happy. We also met two other families in the process adopting babies from Korea. The night was going so great and we were feeling so uplifted and then the disappointing news. Our agency has decided to end these monthly groups for reasons they would not discuss. Needless to say there were shocked faces as some of these families have been coming for 3 years (China waiting families). After the initial shock the tears started flowing from families who have been with the group a long time. Then it was almost a mutiny.
I am saddened because we finally felt like we found a place where we fit in and people "got us". I am sad to not form those bonds with other adoptive families and to share in their joys as they would one day share in mine. I am sad that now poor Joe will have to again listen to all my ramblings and he is so sweet to do it. I had found a place where I didn't feel "crazy" and could feel the way I felt and others were feeling the same way. Somedays I feel as if my head is going to pop off and it was nice to know I wasn't alone. We know that unless you have ever been where we are you just can't understand, and we are sad that those that know are being taken away. I thought I had found a glimmer of hope in this hellish journey. Disappointingly, I guess not.
There will be another group next month and then maybe one in Jan. but that's it, unless of course by some miracle they rethink this decision and let the group continue. I didn't realize how dependent I was on that support after only just a few times going. It just always feels like we are truly alone.
Update:
China referrals arrived this week. A huge disappointing month as they only matched two days. That's right...2 days Feb 17,2006 is the new cutoff. Disappointing to say the least!!!
For our agency Korea had 11 referrals for the month of Oct which was very large. We hope for more big months!!!
Thanks for listening. Just keep us in your thoughts as some days are just so hard.
11/9/08
A Fantastic Find
If you know me even just a little, you know that I love a good book. I love to read, heck, it may be a slight obsession!!! I always have a book that I'm into on my nightstand, in my car, on the back deck in the summer. I love fiction, and have now become in love with books about Korea and China and anything adoption related. If I could change one thing about Joe it would be that I wish he loved to read as much as I do. He just can't get into it. I guess I read enough for both of us.
So, last weekend we were out and about and we stopped at a discount store. Once inside I told Joe I'd be in the book section. Well, I found a fantastic find. Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul. Its a compilation of stories celebrating forever families. They are feel good short stories that warm your heart. I'm enjoying catching snippets of stories here and there. They definately warm the heart and lift the spirit. What a great find!!!!!
So, last weekend we were out and about and we stopped at a discount store. Once inside I told Joe I'd be in the book section. Well, I found a fantastic find. Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul. Its a compilation of stories celebrating forever families. They are feel good short stories that warm your heart. I'm enjoying catching snippets of stories here and there. They definately warm the heart and lift the spirit. What a great find!!!!!
11/2/08
Work: Busy and Tough
So, work is work and we're both very thankful in this day and age to have our jobs.
In one word, Joe's work is BUSY. He's been on the same project for 3.5 years which is unheard of in his line of work. Well, the finishing deadline has now come and gone and they're not near being finished yet. So, they've decided for the next several weeks to work overtime to get the job done. It's ironic to us that they would work overtime when after this job there doesn't seem to be too much lined up, but deadlines are deadlines. So, my Joe will be working late and on Saturdays for the next few weeks. He's ready for this job to be over so he can start another one. 3 years is a long time to be in the same place.
In one word, my work is TOUGH. I've been starting to see more involved kiddos and although its good to challenge myself its also tough. It's hard to sit across from a family and share concerns that result in a diagnosis of autism. It's hard to walk into a house of a baby who's twin passed away at birth. Don't get me wrong, its also very rewarding. Like seeing a child who has CP start to communicate with the tools you taught her to use. Or to see a little 26 week preemie now running, jumping, and getting ready for preschool.
It's tough in another sense too. It's working with kids beautiful kids. I get very close to my families as I'm at their home every week for months, sometimes even years. They often ask that dreaded question Do you have any kids? To which I answer, Not yet. Some I have told our story to and they're very excited and hope I'm still working with them when I get news.
I guess you could compare my job to this: Imagine if all you wanted in life was a sportscar. You work at a car dealership where you take care of all these beautiful cars and help them get ready to run. But...you can't ever take one home. Tough, huh?
So, we've applied for the greatest job in the world: Parenthood. We're just waiting to hear if we got the job. We think we're qualified, don't you?
In one word, Joe's work is BUSY. He's been on the same project for 3.5 years which is unheard of in his line of work. Well, the finishing deadline has now come and gone and they're not near being finished yet. So, they've decided for the next several weeks to work overtime to get the job done. It's ironic to us that they would work overtime when after this job there doesn't seem to be too much lined up, but deadlines are deadlines. So, my Joe will be working late and on Saturdays for the next few weeks. He's ready for this job to be over so he can start another one. 3 years is a long time to be in the same place.
In one word, my work is TOUGH. I've been starting to see more involved kiddos and although its good to challenge myself its also tough. It's hard to sit across from a family and share concerns that result in a diagnosis of autism. It's hard to walk into a house of a baby who's twin passed away at birth. Don't get me wrong, its also very rewarding. Like seeing a child who has CP start to communicate with the tools you taught her to use. Or to see a little 26 week preemie now running, jumping, and getting ready for preschool.
It's tough in another sense too. It's working with kids beautiful kids. I get very close to my families as I'm at their home every week for months, sometimes even years. They often ask that dreaded question Do you have any kids? To which I answer, Not yet. Some I have told our story to and they're very excited and hope I'm still working with them when I get news.
I guess you could compare my job to this: Imagine if all you wanted in life was a sportscar. You work at a car dealership where you take care of all these beautiful cars and help them get ready to run. But...you can't ever take one home. Tough, huh?
So, we've applied for the greatest job in the world: Parenthood. We're just waiting to hear if we got the job. We think we're qualified, don't you?
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