Yesterday our sweet Martin lost his battle with his heart and passed away on our kitchen floor. We had taken him to the vet on Thursday for a procedure to help drain the fluid around his heart. He came home and was perky and excited. Yesterday morning he was doing great and then at lunch time he went on the porch and when he came back in he collapsed. He took his last breath as I sat with him and whispered in his ear that it was going to be ok. It happened so so fast and for his sake I am truly grateful. I know he passed exactly how and where he wanted....at home surrounded by the sounds and people he loved. Selfishly it's hard to look at that place on the floor, to remember his last breath, and to feel the weight of his lifeless body as I carried him to the car. The memories will haunt me for some time.
Marty was not "just a dog". I used to joke that he was a human in a dog's body. From the first moment I saw him I knew he would be my best friend....and he took on that role perfectly. He was my shadow, following me EVERYWHERE. I used to tell him that there was only one way in and out of the bathroom and he really didn't need to join me everytime....but he did.
He was my rock, my comforter, and always knew when I needed some snuggles. That's what has made this so so hard. You see any time I was upset he was always there. And now he's here no more.
He listened to every tear shed, every squeal of excitement, every heartbreak I faced on my way to parenthood.....twice. And he welcomed two babies into our home with open arms. He rose to the role of "big brother" with style and loved those babies beyond words. He accepted them right away, kissing them, and sleeping with me on their floors each and every night initially. He loved stealing snacks and kisses and in return enjoyed marching in their parades, letting them put stickers on him,
And letting us dress him in their pj's. That's the kind of dog he was.
My sweet sweet Martin. I never understood before you how people could love a DOG so so much.....but now I see. You have been the best companion, the best cheerleader, the best cheerer upper, and the best snuggler I could have asked for. You know all of my secrets and never judged. You were always behind me, in front of me, or beside me each second of every day. Your absence has left a huge hole in my heart, in my life, and in our home.
I have been expecting him at every turn, hearing him, and smelling him. My head knew this day was inevitable with his condition, but my heart didn't want to believe it......and it still doesn't. How do you really say goodbye to your best friend??
We have all been having a hard time.....Jae-min and I the hardest. Jae-min is asking when he can come home from heaven and how do we get there to visit him. Heartbreaking to answer these questions about your 3 yr olds best bud. We've explained that Martin's heart couldn't beat any longer and he turned into an angel and flew up to heaven where he'll watch over us. We let a balloon go into the sky last night with a goody attached as Jae-min thought Marty might be hungry.
I would give anything to take this pain away......to have just one more day with our sweet Martin. To look into his deep brown eyes, to feel his cold nose, and to hear the pitter patter of his little feet just one more time. To run my fingers through his soft sweet curls and to tell him how very very much he was loved.
We love you our sweet Marty.....to the moon and back!!!!!!
