You see, I made a decision with myself that I would not sugar coat things that were happening at our house. I was tired of reading blogs that portrayed the first weeks/months home as picture perfect....rather than what they really are. I remember asking Joe why everytime someone asks him how its going he responds with "good, ok". And he said "because people don't REALLY want to know what's going on, they just want to hear everything is great and move on from there".
That got me thinking. I was getting comments about my negativity on the posts when we were newly home, the difficulties were really something people didn't want to hear. They were coming to this blog for cute pictures of two kiddos and funny stories. And I REFUSED to put that out there if that wasn't how it was. You see, I started this blog years ago to help me sort out my feelings during our adoption process. I love to write and it helps me to get my emotions down even when they are filled with negativity and hard times. And when I realized I was making others uncomfortable with my honesty I knew it was time for a break.
Over the last 4.5 months we have had some VERY difficult times. We have weathered storms which we never in a million years thought that we'd have to endure. We have seen COUNTLESS professionals for help who all have concluded they have never seen something like this before...not very reassuring let me tell you. We have cried more tears and felt so overwhelmed you could not imagine. Are some things better??? Sure...gosh if they were still that awful I think I'd seriously be in the funny farm by now. Do we still have a LONG way to go?? Sure....but we're trying....gosh are we trying.
The last 4.5 months have brought so many changes to this family....so much growth, so much insanity, so much frustration, and even so much joy. We are on a new path....a path we weren't really sure we'd ever be able to be on and if you told us long ago that we could do this we would never have believed you. I guess we are stronger that we ever thought.
So I am back from my needed break. But I will warn you that I still reserve the right for honesty....so if you are only here for the cute pictures, you may be sadly disappointed.
