...in this journey!!
Last night we attended our monthly waiting family meeting (which was rescheduled from last Thurs due to scheduling conflicts with social worker). We were excited to go and became more excited when three families who have been home for 2 weeks from China brought their babies in to show them off. They were adorable!!! All around 10 months old and one just loved Joe!! It was so fun to hear their stories and see their faces so happy. We also met two other families in the process adopting babies from Korea. The night was going so great and we were feeling so uplifted and then the disappointing news. Our agency has decided to end these monthly groups for reasons they would not discuss. Needless to say there were shocked faces as some of these families have been coming for 3 years (China waiting families). After the initial shock the tears started flowing from families who have been with the group a long time. Then it was almost a mutiny.
I am saddened because we finally felt like we found a place where we fit in and people "got us". I am sad to not form those bonds with other adoptive families and to share in their joys as they would one day share in mine. I am sad that now poor Joe will have to again listen to all my ramblings and he is so sweet to do it. I had found a place where I didn't feel "crazy" and could feel the way I felt and others were feeling the same way. Somedays I feel as if my head is going to pop off and it was nice to know I wasn't alone. We know that unless you have ever been where we are you just can't understand, and we are sad that those that know are being taken away. I thought I had found a glimmer of hope in this hellish journey. Disappointingly, I guess not.
There will be another group next month and then maybe one in Jan. but that's it, unless of course by some miracle they rethink this decision and let the group continue. I didn't realize how dependent I was on that support after only just a few times going. It just always feels like we are truly alone.
Update:
China referrals arrived this week. A huge disappointing month as they only matched two days. That's right...2 days Feb 17,2006 is the new cutoff. Disappointing to say the least!!!
For our agency Korea had 11 referrals for the month of Oct which was very large. We hope for more big months!!!
Thanks for listening. Just keep us in your thoughts as some days are just so hard.
