As each day brings us closer to our sweet Jae-min I have found myself thinking of his birthmom (and dad) alot lately. I keep thinking of the courage and strength it took for them to make such a difficult decision and create an adoption plan for Jae-min. I keep thinking of the heartbreak they felt and probably still feel. I feel almost guilty that in my purest joy was someone else's biggest hearbreak. Adoption is funny that way. There has to be immense sadness to give another immense joy. As adoptive parents, we think it's important to always remember this and to feel some of the birth families pain. We need to convey this message on to Jae-min, that he was so loved and wanted by everyone. It bothers us when people say that Jae-min's birthfamily "gave him up". On the contrary, they choose life and sought out a beautiful life for him. Never did they give up. They worked hard and probably wonder and worry everyday about him.
If we could say anything to them we would want them to know how very much we longed for this child and thank you. Thank you for being brave and loving OUR son so much. That's right, Jae-min will forever belong to his birthfamily just as much as he belongs to us, his adoptive family. Without them, there would be no us.
I just finished reading a book entitled I wish for you a beautiful life. It's a compilation of letters from birthmoms to their children after making an adoption plan. It was so moving and insightful to hear these woman's perspective. The decision was never easy and they feel heartbroken for always.
I also wish for Jae-min to have a beautiful life. I wish for him to know how much his birthmom loved him and how much I loved him too before we all even knew him. I wish I could tell her he'll be so loved from Korea and the USA. She will always hold a special place in my heart. Because without her, my dreams could not come true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
