Happy Birthday sweet one!!!
Today is our sweet Yun-jeong's first birthday!!! Its been a bit of a bittersweet day. I've been trying to stay positive, thinking how very lucky she will be to have shared a birthday with her birthparents, her foster family, and someday with her forever family. How very special for her to get to celebrate this birthday (the most meaningful birthday in Korean culture) in her homeland, Korea. How very special for her that she most likely got an amazing and traditional tol thrown in her honor. How she must have been loved on and fussed over by the only family she has ever known. I know that she was celebrated today. I know that she was loved on and made to feel special. But.....I also know that she wasn't snuggled by me!!!!
We chose to celebrate her birthday this weekend with our parents by making some bulgogi, having some cake, and singing happy birthday to our sweet girl. Weird? Yes, probably......but it definately felt right. As the festivities were happening I found myself glancing at her picture and thinking this isn't right....our baby girl should be HERE enjoying this for herself. But then I realize that is not how it is. Our baby is halfway around the world celebrating her first birthday without us and its hard.....really really hard.
Yun-jeong got some great gifts, some we opened and some we saved for when she gets home. We got some great birthday messages today as well as a friend calling asking if I was ok. When I answered I was hanging in there she sang the entire happy birthday song to Jaelah.....tears welled in my eyes. We want to thank all those that shared in Jaelah Yun-jeong's birthday......we really didn't know how difficult this day would be. I guess even though we've never met, she's our daughter and we're missing her lots today.
This mamma's heart has been heavy all day. Thinking of her birthmom, thinking of her, and thinking of our future together.
Happy Birthday sweet baby girl.
Jae-min thought we were seeing Jaelah in church on Sunday. When he looked at me saying "mamma where's Yun-jeong?" I told him we were praying for her for her birthday. He stood on the kneeler and folded his little hands, looking up at me smiling. Oh, I could never love this little boy more!!!!!
