One red balloon and one lucky ladybug. Happy one year LID.
MARTIN'S LITTLE DRAGON'S!!!!
5/30/08
One year celebrating China LID May 25,2008
One year ago today we were officially logged in to China. Everyone says Wow, a year already! and we feel that way too except when we live in it day to day. This year has been hopeful, difficult, happy, and sad in the adoption world. We have seen many families see, hold, and cry over becoming a family and we have cried along with them. We know someday it will be our turn.
We celebrated today by going out to Chinese dinner and then we let one red balloon go in our backyard hoping it will make it to China. It was a bittersweet celebration but we are pleased with how we honored Ava Rose today.
When we went to get the balloon we asked for one red balloon. The lady responded "Just one" Yup, just one. Then the cashier says "Just one" Yup just one Joe proceeded to say in the parking lot "Don't worry next year we'll be back for two, then three, then four........................ Fresh is what he is Haha Geez haven't they ever had someone requesting just one red balloon before?
We celebrated today by going out to Chinese dinner and then we let one red balloon go in our backyard hoping it will make it to China. It was a bittersweet celebration but we are pleased with how we honored Ava Rose today.
When we went to get the balloon we asked for one red balloon. The lady responded "Just one" Yup, just one. Then the cashier says "Just one" Yup just one Joe proceeded to say in the parking lot "Don't worry next year we'll be back for two, then three, then four........................ Fresh is what he is Haha Geez haven't they ever had someone requesting just one red balloon before?
Korea adoption 101
We are excited about this new adventure and guarded at the same time. We thought we'd share some basics:
When our homestudy is done we add it to our dossier and then its sent to Korea and we receive our HSTK (homestudy to korea date) This begins the official wait. Joe and I have agreed to not discuss timelines, timeframes, anticipated time with anyone because of what happened before. Please respect this and know that when we hear anything we'll let you know.
Referral: Our referral will come with pictures and medical info. Most babies are in foster homes and are referred young. After accepting referral, we receive updated info.
Legals: All legal proceedings are done before we get our child in both the US and korea. This makes the time between referral and holding that baby longer than China. It could be a few to several months, but at least we have a picture to stare at and plans to make!!!!
Baby Home: We have the option to travel or to have the baby escorted. Traveling is a short trip about 5-7 days but you get to meet and spend time with the foster family who has cared for your baby for months. Escorting would be into Boston or New York.
Babies are young at time of referral 6-12 months and are very healthy. Whether its a boy or girl will be a total surprise!!!!!!
When our homestudy is done we add it to our dossier and then its sent to Korea and we receive our HSTK (homestudy to korea date) This begins the official wait. Joe and I have agreed to not discuss timelines, timeframes, anticipated time with anyone because of what happened before. Please respect this and know that when we hear anything we'll let you know.
Referral: Our referral will come with pictures and medical info. Most babies are in foster homes and are referred young. After accepting referral, we receive updated info.
Legals: All legal proceedings are done before we get our child in both the US and korea. This makes the time between referral and holding that baby longer than China. It could be a few to several months, but at least we have a picture to stare at and plans to make!!!!
Baby Home: We have the option to travel or to have the baby escorted. Traveling is a short trip about 5-7 days but you get to meet and spend time with the foster family who has cared for your baby for months. Escorting would be into Boston or New York.
Babies are young at time of referral 6-12 months and are very healthy. Whether its a boy or girl will be a total surprise!!!!!!
Florida
May 17-24 we went to Florida. We committed to going there to relax and thats what we did. We didn't talk about adoption stuff at all and I felt great. We laid on the beach, by the pool, and went to a Polynesian show and to butterfly world. All in all we had a great time. Much needed and well deserved.
When we returned we picked up our book we ordered before we left and have begun our required readings. The book is a wealth of info and now I actually can't put it down. We're glad we were recommended to read it.
Our references were mailed, my physical form mailed(Joe's is scheduled for 6/24) and I think thats the only thing we need now. Then our social worker will probably do a homevisit and ask a million more questions. We're looking forward to a busy month.
When we returned we picked up our book we ordered before we left and have begun our required readings. The book is a wealth of info and now I actually can't put it down. We're glad we were recommended to read it.
Our references were mailed, my physical form mailed(Joe's is scheduled for 6/24) and I think thats the only thing we need now. Then our social worker will probably do a homevisit and ask a million more questions. We're looking forward to a busy month.
1st homestudy meeting May 15th
Today was our first homestudy meeting with our new social worker to begin the process to adopt our little bundle from Korea. She had our original homestudy which she had highlighted but had many more questions. We were there for 3 hours with question after question being fired at us. It sort of felt alittle like an interegation..the room was hot, the questions came one after another, and our palms were sweating. It's definately more nervewracking than China and we felt so disconnected. Maybe because we've answered this before, maybe because we're tired of proving ourselves, or maybe because our hearts are so guarded from this past year its hard. We made it very clear we want this to move fast and we are committed to doing whatever to bring our baby home.
Because we started our China adoption pre Hague we didn't have to do any courses or number of hours before. Guess what, we have to do them now. We have assigned reading, online courses, and two seminars at the agency to go to. This is all great education and we're happy to learn about things like attachment and stuff but all this needs to be done before she can write the homestudy. We know each delay can push you further back in line. Oh well, we signed up for a seminar on 6/16 about medical records with a person from the adoption clinic in Boston. It will be nice to be able to put a face to a name of someone there due to the fact that we'll be visiting there hopefully twice. We also signed up for a required group 6/24 run by our social worker. Now we work on getting criminal checked again(they're going to wonder who in the world we are the FBI), letters of reference and on and on. Let the document gathering begin. It's alittle easier this time because we have alot of the documents already.
Because we started our China adoption pre Hague we didn't have to do any courses or number of hours before. Guess what, we have to do them now. We have assigned reading, online courses, and two seminars at the agency to go to. This is all great education and we're happy to learn about things like attachment and stuff but all this needs to be done before she can write the homestudy. We know each delay can push you further back in line. Oh well, we signed up for a seminar on 6/16 about medical records with a person from the adoption clinic in Boston. It will be nice to be able to put a face to a name of someone there due to the fact that we'll be visiting there hopefully twice. We also signed up for a required group 6/24 run by our social worker. Now we work on getting criminal checked again(they're going to wonder who in the world we are the FBI), letters of reference and on and on. Let the document gathering begin. It's alittle easier this time because we have alot of the documents already.
Goodbye Nana
This goodbye has recently come and gone and we realized we did not do it justice so we thought we'd write to say a goodbye to Joe's Nana. At the age of 94 she passed away quietly and without pain. She was excited about our adoption news and it saddens us that she will never know our children. Things like this make us so sad about the growing wait with China. Our Ava will never get to meet her great grandma, which saddens us tremendously. We asked Joe's mom for Nana's cross which we plan to hang in Ava's room as a special token of Nana.
Earthquakes in China
It has been reported that there was a severe earthquake in China today in the Sichuan province near Chengdu. We pray for all the people of China. The pictures are just too horrible to see. Our thoughts go out to all.
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to our mom's!!! Someday I hope to celebrate this day but for now I celebrated to my children in my heart.
Last night we had a surprise 60th birthday for my mom. It was a little early so that it would be a surprise and it definately was. She was totally shocked. We finally got her!!
Last night we had a surprise 60th birthday for my mom. It was a little early so that it would be a surprise and it definately was. She was totally shocked. We finally got her!!
April 2008
This month has been a whirlwind of adoption activity. We have registered with WHFC to begin an adoption from Korea, we have received our updated homestudy from China, and have told our China agency of our plan. They were so supportive and kind. They are thrilled for us and our social worker can't wait to meet this new little baby. Are we really getting on this roller coaster again?? It looks like it. Sometimes in life you have to open your heart and mind and really listen to what they are saying. Ours are saying GO FOR IT. We now have a piece of our hearts in China and Korea. Yeah
We are officially paperchasing for Korea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I'm typing this. We mailed our application packet in, have been assigned a social worker, and begun gathering documents again. Because our agency with China is China only we have to put together a new dossier and homestudy now. Which means more interviews, more questions, more proving to a total stranger that we will make good parents and that we want this more than anything in the world. More intimate questions, more physicals to prove we are healthy. ugh, ugh double ugh
Can you imagine We could have two beautiful babies at the end of this journey. I'm about ready to jump out of my skin. Joe gets this cute little grin. Bring it on.
We are officially paperchasing for Korea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I'm typing this. We mailed our application packet in, have been assigned a social worker, and begun gathering documents again. Because our agency with China is China only we have to put together a new dossier and homestudy now. Which means more interviews, more questions, more proving to a total stranger that we will make good parents and that we want this more than anything in the world. More intimate questions, more physicals to prove we are healthy. ugh, ugh double ugh
Can you imagine We could have two beautiful babies at the end of this journey. I'm about ready to jump out of my skin. Joe gets this cute little grin. Bring it on.
April 12, 2008
We attended the info meeting with a guarded heart. Could this really all work out? Could this little baby from Korea be a big brother or sister to our Ava from China? We won't get our hopes up.
March comes to an end
This month has been full of mixed emotions and feelings. There have been many ups and downs and alot of soul searching on both mine and Joe's parts. We both came to one conclusion though: we definately want to remain with China and see it through to the end whatever that end is. So, with that in mind I began to do some investigating. We discussed our options and continued to feel led to adoption so we discussed DSS as well as that other country Korea, which we had originally discussed. DSS still doesn't feel right and after talking to many people we felt its not for us at this time again. We'll never rule anything out though. We continued to search Korea and found 3 agency that work with families in Mass. to place children from Korea. We emailed them and 2 said we'd have to leave China once our baby was home from Korea. We don't want to do this so we found an agency Wide Horizons For Children who just introduced a concurrent adoption option, You'd be able to complete both adoptions as long as they have at least one year between. Yeah this looks promising. They have an info meeting on 4/12. We signed up. Fingers crossed.
Worst week continues
We each walked away from the dumb idea with a pit in our stomaches. As many of you know when I get nervous, anxious, stressed my stomache acts up and this week was no different. I had had enough by Friday, so I stayed home from work. Seeing your reality in black and white shines a whole new perspective on things.
This Sunday was Easter. We had to go along like nothing was wrong when deep down I was so depressed. My parents gave us a baby book for adoptive families. Very sweet
This Sunday was Easter. We had to go along like nothing was wrong when deep down I was so depressed. My parents gave us a baby book for adoptive families. Very sweet
The worst week of our lives
This week has been horrible, horrible, horrible. The wait has been getting hard but I think I've been living in dreamland (what else is new) for awhile now and Joe has seen the writing on the wall more clearly for a few months. This week I have been knocked out of my dreamworld into reality and it doesn't look good.
It all began this weekend when I came up with the great idea...Why don't we get beads and put them in a jar to represent how many days untill we get our referral. We can take as many out each month as are referred and then it can feel like we are doing something. Eventually we would see progress. Well, Joe was trying to spare my feelings and initially said no (I think he knew what would happen and was trying to protect me). But, after much discussions we sat down and crunched numbers. This is what we came up with: we have about 17 months from what they're referring now till us 5/07 so that averages about 480 days to go. If they were to refer say 5 days at a time (which sometimes they don't) it would take 96 months or 8 more years to see a referral. WHAT!!!!! We did it plenty more ways and kept getting no less than 5 more years until a referral. So no, we don't want to put 480 beads in a jar and take out 3,4,5,6 beads each month for 3,4,5,6,7,8 more years. Dumb, dumb, dumb idea.
This dumb idea was the beginning of it all though. Joe, who thinks with his head, has been saying for a few weeks now that we can't sit around and do this with this uncertainty for xxx more years. Me, on the other hand, think with my heart and know that we can't walk away from this. Our daughter grows in our hearts and I have faith that someday we will be together. It's so hard to explain to those who aren't waiting. So, what do we do???
It all began this weekend when I came up with the great idea...Why don't we get beads and put them in a jar to represent how many days untill we get our referral. We can take as many out each month as are referred and then it can feel like we are doing something. Eventually we would see progress. Well, Joe was trying to spare my feelings and initially said no (I think he knew what would happen and was trying to protect me). But, after much discussions we sat down and crunched numbers. This is what we came up with: we have about 17 months from what they're referring now till us 5/07 so that averages about 480 days to go. If they were to refer say 5 days at a time (which sometimes they don't) it would take 96 months or 8 more years to see a referral. WHAT!!!!! We did it plenty more ways and kept getting no less than 5 more years until a referral. So no, we don't want to put 480 beads in a jar and take out 3,4,5,6 beads each month for 3,4,5,6,7,8 more years. Dumb, dumb, dumb idea.
This dumb idea was the beginning of it all though. Joe, who thinks with his head, has been saying for a few weeks now that we can't sit around and do this with this uncertainty for xxx more years. Me, on the other hand, think with my heart and know that we can't walk away from this. Our daughter grows in our hearts and I have faith that someday we will be together. It's so hard to explain to those who aren't waiting. So, what do we do???
March 15, 2008
I came across a children's book with a ladybug character entitled Home Sweet Home. The ladybug is looking for her home among many different insects until finally she finds just where she was meant to be. Fitting, I thought!! Little things like this get us through the days.
March Updates
Our agency has sent along their updates and it appears that the cutoff is January 4, 2206. To look at the bright side of things at least their finally referring to families with a 2006 LID. Yet, that's still 17 months worth to get through before us, and with only referring a few days a month that 17 months turns into.....well, you do the math.
Original Homestudy to be Updated
At the beginning of March we realized that our homestudy will expire on April 11 and it needs to be updated before this date. Being the organized person that I am I also looked at all the other expiration dates for our fingerprints and immigration and contacted our agency to see what to do about this. We contacted our social worker to tell her of our upcoming expirations also. Due to the fact that nothing has changed in the last year we think she won't need to visit again but rather just write a new report stating the same things.....we are good people, we can't wait for our baby, send her our way!!!.... well, it will go something like that!
These updates were to be expected because remember, we originally thought it would take 18months to see our baby. As you have read, that will not be happening now. We may have to do many more updates on all our paperwork in the coming years. Our agency contacted us to tell us to renew our fingerprints and immigration in the fall. So, we'll go in early fall for the fun task of re-fingerprinting. At least it keeps this adoption real for us.
These updates were to be expected because remember, we originally thought it would take 18months to see our baby. As you have read, that will not be happening now. We may have to do many more updates on all our paperwork in the coming years. Our agency contacted us to tell us to renew our fingerprints and immigration in the fall. So, we'll go in early fall for the fun task of re-fingerprinting. At least it keeps this adoption real for us.
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