Our Martin....

Our Martin is sick....very sick. After one of the longest, worst nights of our lives, I took my little buddy to an emergency clinic this morning and he was in complete heart failure when we arrived. They rushed him back to their rooms and put him in an oxygen cage and have been giving him meds ever since. Our Martin had trouble breathing all night and some medicine he was taking for itchy skin may have contributed to his heart failure. Our Martin is fighting to stay with us....

It's been a long difficult day around here. The doctors are hoping he responds to the meds in the next few days and then will do another test next week to see what the future holds for our little buddy. We are able to call and check on him, and so far he's doing well. Thank goodness.

I knew Martin wasn't invincible, but what I didn't know was how much of a fixture he is in my everday life. Now that I stay at home with Jae-min Martin follows me everywhere. It's been a hard night, expecting him around every corner and in the middle of every activity, but he wasn't there. Not to mention the heartbreaking words of one little 2 year old...."Martin home" and then after explaining where he is that little 2 year old saying "fix him"

That's how we all feel......please oh please fix him!!!! We're not ready to let him go yet. We know that to many Marty is "just a dog", but to us he's so so much more.

I'm not even sure who reads all my ramblings anymore, but if your out there please say alittle prayer for Marty and for us that we all make it through this with our little buddy intact!!!!!

Happy Fall And Happy Chuseok!!!!!

Ah, fall in the US is filled with beautiful colors, a chill in the air, pumkins, apples, and nights beginning just alittle sooner!!! Jae-min had a great time enjoying some fall activities.....

"So, you want me to find the perfect pumpkin among ALL these?""Ok, I'll do my best"!!!
"Yay, the best apples are on the tops of the trees. Hoist me up Daddy!!!"

"I think this one looks perfect!!!"

"Another great find"

Apple picking and pumpking finding sure were fun, but the best part of the day for Jae-min was investigating all of the farm equipment.

Tractors, diggers, wagon, scoops, oh my!!!

In Korea fall is celebrated this week with a holiday called Chuseok. It's very similar to our Thanksgiving. Korean families travel and gather together. They share a feast of food, mainly rice cakes. They honor their ancestors and the children dress in their hanboks and play games. It's a wonderful time and is also known as the Harvest Moon celebration .

We celebrated last night by making some Korean food and trying a new recipe for Haddeok. Yum yum yum we all loved it. We plan to celebrate this weekend as well.

So....Happy Fall and Happy Chuseok to all.

Na Night....

When darkness falls and the moon and stars are out...
You will hear the sounds of laughter and splashes coming from a little man in his tubby.
You will hear him singing songs as he gets dried off and snuggled into his jammies by his mommy.
You will see his happy face as he finds his daddy to snuggle with and watch a little tv and drink his cup of milk.
You will hear the ABC song as he brushes his teeth all shiny and clean.
You will watch a family hug in the hallway. Kissing mommy, daddy, and then blowing a kiss to Marty.
You will hear a little voice say "just one more" to which this family comes together and hugs again.
You will watch a mommy snuggle her boy and rock him as she reads books, 4 books to be exact, the same books each and every night.
You will watch a mommy stroke her son's hair and forehead and rock him silently for a few moments after the books are put away. You will hear her softly tell her child how very much she loves him.
You will watch a mommy gently place her child into his crib and cover him with his blankies.
You will hear that child sigh, then look at his mommy in the darkness with a look of contentment all over his face.
You will watch that mommy pause before opening the door, and that child slightly raise his head to smile.
You will hear the door close tightly and watch that mommy pause on the other side of the door.
If you listen really carefully, you will hear her silently say a prayer of thanks for such a wonderful son, such a wonderful gift. Night time wasn't always like this. It once was filled with sobbing, gut wrenching screams. If you had visited this home before you may have seen alittle boy not wanting comfort from this mommy. I still vividly remember nights trying to comfort my son and when he realized it was me, would then start crying inconsolably. I wasn't the omma he wanted. I remember picking him up trying to rock him and him looking at me and screaming with his little tongue wiggling. I wasn't the omma he wanted. He would feel my arm in the middle of the night and then realize, I wasn't the omma he wanted. That's what makes it so much sweeter. All of that stuggling led to this:
Last night after tubby time Jae-min ran off all snuggled and clean to look for daddy to watch tv. The next thing I know I hear these little footprints coming back down the hall. He peers around the corner and says "I love you".
I guess now I'm the omma he wanted!!!!!!

He May Not....

He may not have my big brown eyes....

His are deep brown and almond shaped.

He may not have my wavy hair...

His is jet black and oh so straight.

He may not have my larger nose...

His is small and button like.

He may not have my DNA...

But, he sure does have my HEART!!!!Today we celebrate one and a half years as Jae-min's parents. That's 18 months calling Jae-min our son. I find myself looking at him often and wondering about his birthparents. I wonder...

Which one of them was easygoing just like him?

Which one of them was inquisitive just like him?

Which one liked spicy foods?

Which one was a jokester?

Where did he get all the peach fuzz hair on his shoulders and back?

Where did he get his empathy and his caring spirit?

I think about them all the time and would honestly give anything for a chance to meet them. To see them and talk with them. Although knowing Jae-min as I do, I already feel like I know them. So...Jae-min sure doesn't have my genes, but I know that no other child could capture my heart more than him!!! He may not have been born from this body, but he sure was born from this heart. Happy 18 months home Jae-min. And thank you to your birthparents for making that most difficult and selfless decision.

Tomorrow we celebrate 2 months waiting for KB too. Yahoo.

Your brother can't wait to meet you KB too. Each month that goes by my heart gets bigger and bigger with anticipation with all that is to come!!!

"B" Is For Blankie!!!!!

Jae-min has recently become very attached to his blankies. Or as he often refers to them "2 bllllAnkies"!!! It's really cool as the dog headed blankie is the one we sent him in his care package when he was still in Korea. His foster mom sent it home with him and I remember the first night in the hotel getting that blankie out to try to console a very grieving child. The minute he smelled the familiar smell and touched the familiar ears, he would calm down. We held that little dog blankie close all night and every night since then. I love how the ears are now worn because he loves to rub them. I love how we have pictures of us with this blankie before he came home, and how we have pictures of him and his omma with this same blankie. This special blankie traveled halfway around the world twice and it is loved loved loved!!!!

His second loved blankie is the soft green one I knitted for him with lots of love. He's often seen dragging it around the house with the dog blankie too. Soooo 2 blankies!!!! This one was also filled with so much love. Every stitch brought us closer to bringing Jae-min home and it was my saving grace while waiting for him. To see him snuggle up with this makes my heart melt. To know the agony of some of those days before he arrived and then seeing him smiling with that special blanket is pricelss.So, when we were official for KB too I knew I wanted to knit another special blankie. I had wanted to wait to see if it was a boy or girl to get the appropriate color yarn, but the yarn store in town is going out of business and was having a big sale sooooo...... I ended up picking up the yarn.....a very neutral yellow and then will edge it in a gender specific color. I'm actually excited to start this blankie and hope our next little one loves it!!!

I just finished this project (I know another blanket) which was intended for a friend but may now just hang out in the closet waiting for our special little someone. We'll see.

I love that Jae-min loves his blankies. I love that I could make it for him and his sibling. I love that we could pick out something for our little one without even knowing them yet, and they fall in love with it. I guess I just love my little man (and our next little one that I hold in my heart).

Passport To Korea....

After finalizing Jae-min's adoption (in Dec) our agency had given us step by step instructions on how to apply for a passport, a birth certificate, and a social security card. It kind of got put on the back burner because this spring we were working hard on getting everything together for KB too, so last month we decided to start the final paperwork for Jae-min. Jae-min's passport arrived this week so he can now officially leave the country, and return. Great news. We haven't decieded yet if Jae-min will be coming to Korea with us to pick up KB too, we have plenty of time to decide, but if he does he's all set. Yahoo. Next stop....new birth certificate!!!

We've also been having a craving for some Korean food in this house!!! It had been too long since we had some great Korean food, so yesterday we decided to take Jae-min to our local Korean restaurant for the first time. He LOVED it. Tried everything and even liked the Kimchi. But...on the way out asked the owner for a "hamburger". Yup, alittle embarassing!!!!
I always get alittle nervous entering the Korean community as I never know what they feel about a Caucasian couple raising a Korean child. But... in true wonderful Korean fashion every person was so sweet and welcoming. It just solidified more why we love this culture. We had one nice man even approach our table and talk with Jae-min. He called him "happy boy"(we've heard that lots before) and just light up. Then he decided to give Jae-min a scoop of ice cream....which surprised us and totally knocked us off our seats. I don't know why though because this is how the people in Korea were too....so friendly and awesome. This would have been a sweet gesture except for the fact that Jae-min CAN'T HAVE ICE CREAM....it gives him big belly bugs. So this sweet man gave Jae-min one very long afternoon of belly aching and no nap. Oh well, take the good with the bad!!!!

A delicious meal makes us miss Korea that much more. We can't wait to go back and hope to take Jae-min there to experience it all for himself!!!!