An Honest Update.....

Phew, what a week it has been!!!! This girl is FIESTY, spirited, spoiled (oh I mean loved by her foster family), persistent, strong willed, and definately knows what she wants and how to get it!!! She can throw a tantrum with the best of them if she doesn't get her own way....complete with SCREAMS, tears, red face, and yes the all famous back arching. This very private and shy mamma has been embarrassed on more than one occasion when she's challenged by this little girl who throws her "fits" while others just stare. It has been hard, exhausting, emotional, and downright horrible at times. Hey, I said this was an honest update.......I'm at a loss as to how to approach the tantrums and worried its some sort of attachment thing, but my gut tells me its her and how she was sooooo doted on in Korea.....like her first ever tantrum came at the airport in Seoul when my dad handed me a bottle of coke and she wanted some to which I said no......can you say embarrassing as she's flaying about with all these Korean folks watching us? Apparently she's had coke while living with her foster family, along with alot of other stuff that's not flying here in America!!!! Making her very very unhappy with these "mean" new parents.

She still hasn't let Joe hold her or care for her in any way. So...I'm going on day 11 being the Only person caring for her in the DAY AND NIGHT....and here comes the honesty again....I'm just about emotionally and physically spent!!!! What I wouldn't give to be able to let Joe soothe her at 11,1,2,3,4am just so I could get alittle rest. But that's not the case. Its me me me 24/7 which in a way is healthy to build an attachment to one person first....but gosh is it hard!!!

This picture cracks me up....she and I were playing with a balloon and she was laughing hysterically when Joe came up behind her, smiled, and yelled take my picture. Honestly she had no idea he was even there or she would have FREAKED OUT.
Here she was getting her groove on. She's showing all positive signs of attachment with me....smiles, laughs, seeks me out for comfort, and is even calling me Mamma. Shes begun to use the sign for more and responds to How big's Yun-jeong? by putting her hands in the air smiling.
And this little man is where the honesty will come back into play......I am worried that he's having a hard time with this little being taking all of mommy's attention away. I can't even care for him without her SCREAMING and I know its really wearing on him and me. I've made a point after I lay down with her for nap and night and she's asleep I sneak out for alittle bit to put my boy to bed. He needs it and I need it!!!!!!
So honestly.....we're tired, worried, feeling a little sick as to whether we're doing what needs to be done. Again I ask for your prayers for a little girl and boy, to somehow find their way to love each other. And for this mommy and daddy to start to feel like their doing something right.

I told my friend the other day this feels sort of like a bad science experiment....like how far can ONE person be pushed before they crack? Gosh, I may just have that answer soon.

I know the honesty of this post may make some uncomfortable and I honestly have thought long and hard about whether or not to even share, but right now, today, this is our reality. And I think its important for others to see this side of things. The hard hard hard stuff is happening here as we speak. And I pray soon we'll be finding our way out...our way to the good stuff.