You see, I made a decision with myself that I would not sugar coat things that were happening at our house. I was tired of reading blogs that portrayed the first weeks/months home as picture perfect....rather than what they really are. I remember asking Joe why everytime someone asks him how its going he responds with "good, ok". And he said "because people don't REALLY want to know what's going on, they just want to hear everything is great and move on from there".
That got me thinking. I was getting comments about my negativity on the posts when we were newly home, the difficulties were really something people didn't want to hear. They were coming to this blog for cute pictures of two kiddos and funny stories. And I REFUSED to put that out there if that wasn't how it was. You see, I started this blog years ago to help me sort out my feelings during our adoption process. I love to write and it helps me to get my emotions down even when they are filled with negativity and hard times. And when I realized I was making others uncomfortable with my honesty I knew it was time for a break.
Over the last 4.5 months we have had some VERY difficult times. We have weathered storms which we never in a million years thought that we'd have to endure. We have seen COUNTLESS professionals for help who all have concluded they have never seen something like this before...not very reassuring let me tell you. We have cried more tears and felt so overwhelmed you could not imagine. Are some things better??? Sure...gosh if they were still that awful I think I'd seriously be in the funny farm by now. Do we still have a LONG way to go?? Sure....but we're trying....gosh are we trying.
The last 4.5 months have brought so many changes to this family....so much growth, so much insanity, so much frustration, and even so much joy. We are on a new path....a path we weren't really sure we'd ever be able to be on and if you told us long ago that we could do this we would never have believed you. I guess we are stronger that we ever thought.
So I am back from my needed break. But I will warn you that I still reserve the right for honesty....so if you are only here for the cute pictures, you may be sadly disappointed.
6 comments:
I have to say, I am so glad you're back! I for one love reading honest posts so much more than fake ones. Sometimes life is cheery and smiles, but sometimes it is hard and full of tears and pain and struggles. One of the things that helped me the most going through our difficult transition was knowing that other adoptive families out there had also experienced struggles like us. I appreciate the fact that you were willing to be real. It helped me in those early days. I look forward to hearing more about how your adjustment is going and how your kiddos are these days. I hope you are getting more sleep now! :)
I was so glad to see your post in my reader, I have been thinking about you! I need to know the REALITY too, I also do not believe in acting as if things are amazing and wonderful. Yes, they will be, but it takes time. and for those commenters...it's not negative it's reality and it's therapeutic! Cannot wait to hear more.
So glad you are back, we sure missed knowing how things were going. Jae-min and Jaelah are beautiful children and we are sure they are a handful. We are always here for all of you to help in any way we can. We love you all, Mom and Dad
I'm so very glad you are back!!! I've thought about you and your family daily. I'm glad your post are honest and from the heart, it makes us all realize we're normal-lol
Thank you for sending your honest story into the world.
We've seen what you are going through and know how hard it is. Don't sugar coat anything, it is what it is! I know that you have to vent so there's always support here. We hope and pray every day that things will get better.
Keep the faith!
Love,
Mom & Dad M
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