She still hasn't let Joe hold her or care for her in any way. So...I'm going on day 11 being the Only person caring for her in the DAY AND NIGHT....and here comes the honesty again....I'm just about emotionally and physically spent!!!! What I wouldn't give to be able to let Joe soothe her at 11,1,2,3,4am just so I could get alittle rest. But that's not the case. Its me me me 24/7 which in a way is healthy to build an attachment to one person first....but gosh is it hard!!!
This picture cracks me up....she and I were playing with a balloon and she was laughing hysterically when Joe came up behind her, smiled, and yelled take my picture. Honestly she had no idea he was even there or she would have FREAKED OUT.
Here she was getting her groove on. She's showing all positive signs of attachment with me....smiles, laughs, seeks me out for comfort, and is even calling me Mamma. Shes begun to use the sign for more and responds to How big's Yun-jeong? by putting her hands in the air smiling.
And this little man is where the honesty will come back into play......I am worried that he's having a hard time with this little being taking all of mommy's attention away. I can't even care for him without her SCREAMING and I know its really wearing on him and me. I've made a point after I lay down with her for nap and night and she's asleep I sneak out for alittle bit to put my boy to bed. He needs it and I need it!!!!!!
So honestly.....we're tired, worried, feeling a little sick as to whether we're doing what needs to be done. Again I ask for your prayers for a little girl and boy, to somehow find their way to love each other. And for this mommy and daddy to start to feel like their doing something right.
Here she was getting her groove on. She's showing all positive signs of attachment with me....smiles, laughs, seeks me out for comfort, and is even calling me Mamma. Shes begun to use the sign for more and responds to How big's Yun-jeong? by putting her hands in the air smiling.
And this little man is where the honesty will come back into play......I am worried that he's having a hard time with this little being taking all of mommy's attention away. I can't even care for him without her SCREAMING and I know its really wearing on him and me. I've made a point after I lay down with her for nap and night and she's asleep I sneak out for alittle bit to put my boy to bed. He needs it and I need it!!!!!!
So honestly.....we're tired, worried, feeling a little sick as to whether we're doing what needs to be done. Again I ask for your prayers for a little girl and boy, to somehow find their way to love each other. And for this mommy and daddy to start to feel like their doing something right.I told my friend the other day this feels sort of like a bad science experiment....like how far can ONE person be pushed before they crack? Gosh, I may just have that answer soon.
I know the honesty of this post may make some uncomfortable and I honestly have thought long and hard about whether or not to even share, but right now, today, this is our reality. And I think its important for others to see this side of things. The hard hard hard stuff is happening here as we speak. And I pray soon we'll be finding our way out...our way to the good stuff.
7 comments:
Shannon and Joe, keep doing what you are doing. I can't imagine how hard it must be for all of you. Jae-min is a sweet and caring little boy and I know that deep down inside he understands what is happening. He has a strong spirit and so much love that I am sure it will eventually wear off on Jaelah. Keep the faith and I am sure things will get better.I pray for you on a daily basis. Love you, Mom and Dad
My prayers are with you. We struggled too in the beginning and it will get better. I know that is hard to hear, especially when you are sleep deprived. But the most important thing is to get rest. Sleep when your kids sleep, a rested mom is a better mom. I pray for healthy attachment and a wonderful bond of brother and sister to begin.
I see you exhausted, looking so tired and run down and I keep saying prayers that she will start sleeping more at night so that you can get some rest. The more she sees of Joe and his interaction with her will make things alot easier. Just lie down when she sleeps during the day. Jae-min seems okay, although we all know that he misses you doing things with him. It has to get better, she seems to be getting a little better than she was.
Again, we're here for you. I'll continue sending cooked meals over for you. My hands are tied right now as how much I can do, but Dad and I are here for you all the time.
Prayers being sent you way!
Love, Mom & Dad M
Shannon and Joe,
Hang in there you are both awesome parents. New parents dont get much rest. So rest when you can. Vinnie and I will be happy to take Jae-min for a sherbert run anytime...
Love,
Francine
Shannon, YOU RE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT! I cannot imagine how tought this is on you, I pray that things will begin to fall into place so you can get the rest you need. and if Joe has to take her somewhere so you can nap SO BE IT, she may scream but in order to function you need sleep. I think sleep deprivation makes your body act as if it is intoxicated...you don;t need that. PRAYING!
Shannon and Joe I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. I hope it will get easier day by day.Jae-min is such a smart little boy I'm sure he understands Jaelah needs your attention right now. I'm praying for all of you that things get better soon. You and Joe are doing a great job, look how great Jae-min turned out, from having great parents. Please take care of your self. Love auntie T
That is so hard having to do it all by yourself, but your doing it and doing it well. In time after she learns to trust you and sees you trust hubby then she will trust him as well. I know it is so hard not being with Jae-min, but your doing the right thing. Keep hanging on and soon you will see a change!!! Hugs dear friend!!!
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