2 Years Ago........

These 2 people......

Boarded this big blue plane............

With all these bags......

For the trip of a LIFETIME!!!!

I vividly still remember the feelings of that day. The excitement, the fear, the overwhelming joy, and the sheer terror all rolled into one. We had NO idea of what lay ahead. We were flying by the seat of our pants. I was scared to death to be on a plane for that amount of time, to live in another country for a whole week, and most of all to meet our son and become his mother!!! I also remember that it was one of the BEST experiences of our lives. Boarding that plane I let go of everything I had ever known, and became a mother. I remember crying on take off and landing in Seoul to know that we had made it. WE HAD MADE IT TOGETHER!!!! And the next week of our lives would forever change us....we would fall in love with a land, a people, and our son. Who knew that a simple plane ride could take you to another life???? A new life, and everything you had ever known before is gone.

And in a few short months we will board a similar blue plane

and travel to that same far away land

and see those same beautiful people

and meet our DAUGHTER for the very first time!!!!

Being a mother has shown me that I would travel to the ends of the earth for our children. I would sit on that blue plane for 1,000 hours if it took me to them. We are so looking forward to our journey again. When I landed in Korea 2 years ago, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be returning just 2 years later. Never would I have dreamed that I was looking forward to being on that plane again. But I am.....because that is how we'll get to our girl!!!!!!!!!!!!

13 Months.....

Our sweet Yun-jeong turned 13 months old today!!! It's bittersweet to be half a world away and to know your baby is growing and thriving without you. We know that each day that passes brings us closer to bringing her home.....but its still so hard. Because each day that passes is strengthening her bond with her foster family, making her transition into our family that much harder.

We're preparing our home and our hearts for what is to come. We're also preparing emotionally to use our attachment parenting techniques to help her with the transition. Due to her age and huge bond with her foster family (she has been with them since last March, so over a year by the time we can bring her home), we know that those techniques will be crucial in her bond and attachment with us. We are preparing to meet her each and every need quickly and show her that she can trust us. We are preparing to be the only ones to hold her, comfort her, and care for her initially to show her who her parents are. We are even preparing and learning some comforting phrases in Korean to help her with the transition. Because at 13 months old (and older) these techniques will be essential for bonding and attachment. She will be walking and independent and we need to sort of stifle that independence initially so that she is forced to depend on us. We are preparing for all this, but it is still hard. It will be so hard to watch her try to navigate her new life. We know that these attachment techniques are necessary (and not popular), but as parents we will do what is in the best interest for our child. We will comfort her every time she cries, carry her as much as possible, and be the only ones to hold and care for her until that attachment is formed.

And we have living, breathing proof that these techniques work!!! After attachment parenting with Jae-min we have a happy, secure little boy with a strong bond and attachment to his parents. Yun-jeong's age will make these techniques even more crucial. But we're preparing our hearts to be strong to handle all that is to come!!!

I600 Approved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today in our mailbox was a big envelope with our approved I600!!!!!!!!!!! This is the document we've been waiting for from the US government. This document allows sweet Yun-jeong to enter the good ole USA!!!!!!!!!!!! Our officer had called us last Saturday saying she needed another document to process our application. We had faxed her the required document and she then called back yesterday saying she had gone ahead and approved us anyways without the document. Then she said that she hopes it doesn't get flagged at the Embassy!!!!! Yeah, not really sure why she didn't just wait for us to get her the document, but the approval looks official so we're just crossing our fingers nothing gets flagged later in the paperwork trail......and closer to travel call..This is a HUGE step in the process. Now several more things happen on the US side (this document is logged in and out at the NVC) and then its up to Korea to issue her exit permit. There's still a bit of a backlog in those, but things are moving right along for all those in front of us!!!! So, we'll just wait patiently in line for our turn.

Funny to think that now she's officially allowed to enter the US, but still can't officially leave Korea yet Haha
This is me and Jae-min doing the Woot Woot dance after we opened this awesome document.

WE'VE GOT MOVEMENT, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's really coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best Buds...

From the moment we entered our home with Jae-min, he and Martin have been best buds...thick as thieves you could say. Marty loves stealing his snacks and kisses, while Jae-min loves throwing him toys and laying with his head on his belly. These two are inseparable and have even begun to get into a little mischief together lately. Each morning Martin joins me in getting Jae-min out of the crib, and if Marty decides to sleep in Jae-min always asks "where's Marsteroni?" to which Martin comes bounding into the room!!!A dog is a boy's best friend....which makes the news we received this past week extra tough. Marty went for a follow up appt for his heart issues and the news was not good. We were shocked to hear that his lungs were again filling with fluid, his heart was huge, and he was on the verge of another heart failure. We thought he was doing well and the doctor was even shocked. They gave us another new med to help with the fluid, but at that visit things became clear to me.....Marty is not getting any better.........the meds are only giving him quality of life, however much he has left. He will continue to get worse until we say enough is enough and then the end will come. We know that now is not that time, he's still the same old Marty on the outside, but his insides are failing. And I have a bad feeling that they're failing fast.
So, how do you explain to a 2.5 year old that their best bud is really really sick when you don't understand it yourself?

And yes, those are Jae-min's jammies on Marty............Can you see now why Marty is such a great buddy to have!!!!!

Updates, Updates, Updates,....and a new Photo!!!!

After all of our worries and finding out that Jaelah wasn't feeling well, on Friday we received a progress report from Jan. And a new photo from last week.....Look at her with her beautiful foster mom and all the gifts we sent!!!!!!! Poor little thing, this picture was taken on Monday when she wasn't feeling well, but we think she still looks BEAUTIFUL!!!! Joe said look even her ponytail looks sick...haha
Just look at that sweetness!!!!!!!!!!! I have stared at this most recent photo for hours and could tell you each and every detail. From her comfy sweater/jacket to the way she's holding the toy that Jae-min picked out for her. And to the little thumb saving a page in the photo album. Love love love it. And now to be able to put a face to the amazing family that is caring for her. I just want to get on a plane and hug them both!!!

If that wasn't great enough, yesterday we also received another progress report dated Feb 11....so just a few days ago. She's weighing in at 18 pds, alittle peanut!!!

She's now taking 3-5 steps independently and enjoyed playing ball. Shes waving, playing pat a cake and peek a boo, and doing Horray. And....she has 4 words Omma (mom) Appa (dad) ahboobah(carry on back) and baba (not sure on that one yet).

She's still described as easygoing and happy and loves loves loves her foster mom. We're preparing for a tough transition!!! But thats a good sign as it shows that one day she'll love us too!!!

I finally feel a sense of peace for the time being. She looks happy and is feeling healthy again. I just can not wait to bring her home!!!!!

A Mother's Intuition....

Is a powerful thing, even halfway around the world!!! For the last several weeks I just could not shake the feeling that something was amiss with Yun-jeong. I had this pit in my stomache that something was wrong, and I just couldn't explain it or shake it. It actually began to overtake me and a few days ago I couldn't take it anymore so we contacted our agency. Come to find out........this mamma's intuition was spot on!!!
It appears that our little Yun-jeong has been sick last week and into this week with a very high fever and what they think is roseola. We know that this is a common childhood illness, but it still doesn't make it any easier. To not be there to comfort her is really really hard. I know her foster family is taking good care of her, but we wish we could snuggle her and help her through this sickness.
I have actually amazed myself that my intuition was correct. It amazes me to think that I "felt" like something was wrong, and sure enough it was. But the most amazing thing is that we are already connected. Even though we've never met, I've never held her, heck I've never even seen her "real"............I'm her mom. And that to me is the most amazing part of all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Teeny Tiny Signs???

We've been feeling alittle down about Miss Yun-jeong and our lack of ANY info on her since referral. The latest info we have on her health and development is from Nov. and was included in her referral paperwork. This mamma needs a glimpse of her baby.......a glimpse to let me know how many teeth she has now, if she started walking, if she's still chatty, and if she's still healthy due to her "needs". I have seriously boarded the crazy train and have these weird thoughts that maybe she doesn't even exist, and sometimes refer to her as the phantom baby!! I told Joe this weekend that we just need alittle sign........something that tells me that this is really real. And then it came..................



If you've been following our story you know that ladybugs have been a meaningful sign for us throughout these YEARS of trying to build our family. From beginning with China and then waiting for Jae-min we seemed to always see a ladybug when we needed it most. And then after Jae-min came home, they stopped. I don't think we had seen one since stepping foot in our house with our little bundle. Because we didn't need that teeny tiny sign anymore. Well, we need it now and sure enough it came.

As I sat in the "snuggle chair" in Jae-min's room today and read books before nap I looked to my right and on the wall was an itty bitty ladybug. I watched him crawl up the side of the window very slowly and then disappear. As I snuggled my boy I knew that was my sign that everything is going to be ok.....that Yun-jeong does exist. In this cold, snowy, icy day a teeny tiny bug appeared to give me strength to continue on this journey. Or I've just officially "lost it". Haha

Either way I'll take any sign I can to put one foot in front of the other............because each day that goes by brings us one step closer to Yun-jeong.............with or without those updated lifelines!!