Happy 3rd Family Day!!!

3 years ago today my arms would be empty no more. They would always be filled with this little bundle.....We visited the Holt offices for the last time and were able to take this precious little boy with us, as our son!!!!
I remember that first night like it was yesterday. How he was so happy at first and we were thinking "wow, this is going so well".....until the novelty for him wore off and then all heck broke loose!!!! He cried and sobbed. He woke every 20 minutes all night long as I sat with him on my chest and soothed him with each cry. I remember watching American Idol over and over again (the same episode) as that was the only English speaking channel we got. I remember Joe sleeping in the bed and waking every 20 minutes too just looking at us. I remember Jae-min's smell, his breath, his look of shock. I remember giving him blankie because it smelled like his home in Korea and how it soothed him. And today that is still his blankie.

I remember every second of that night because that's when I became a mother. A mother to this little boy.......
Who is comfortable in his own skin to throw on some fairy wings and a magic wand (haha) and grant me all my wishes....
Little does he know that my wishes came true 3 years ago when I became a mother....HIS mother.

Happy Family Day little man. We love you more today than yesterday, if that is even possible.

And The Door Opened.....

Exactly 3 years ago today a door opened in a faraway land and behind it was a beautiful baby boy....our son.

I will never forget how nervous we were, yet when we layed eyes on this perfect little boy all our nerves melted away....he was perfect!!!!
We had a wonderful meeting with the social worker, Jae-min, and his Omma. We didn't want it to end. Jae-min was a pure joy from the first moment we saw him and pretty much wrapped us around his little finger immediately.
This room was full of such love, such tenderness.....a woman was so kind telling us about our son...and repeating to Jae-min "Omma, Appa" pointing to Joe and I. She had dressed him in a sweater which said "Happy" on it and she described him as "the easiest baby she ever had"
I remember the smells, the sounds, and the feelings of that day so vividly today. Its hard to believe its been 3 years since we first held him, kissed him, and saw that beautiful smile. It would be several days until we could actually take him forever.....but that day will always be etched in my memory.

As we left the Holt offices I remember feeling like we were walking on air, floating. We knew that all our work, the years and heartache led us to the perfect child.

I've been thinking alot about Korea this week....remembering Jae-min's trip and really can't believe all that has changed in just 3 short years. If I had one wish in life it would be to do that trip over again....and I wouldn't change a thing. It was perfect in every way. Missing Korea today and thanking all those that opened that door for us....the door that led us to our little man.

A Little Bit O' Love....

This week was filled with little bits of love. We had a fun Valentine's day. Jae-min had fun passing out and getting cards from his friends at preschool. He even shared his little treats with Jaelah. And then my little loose lips (aka Jae-min) decided to tell Daddy about his present waiting for him when he got home from work. Oh well, no more surprises....but lots of laughs!!!

Here are the 2 Valentine cuties....
My second love moment of the week happened at the mailbox. You see, the day after Christmas we had ordered some special prints from a website kilsook. I have been waiting and waiting anxiously for these prints to arrive because after we got Jaelah's referral last year we ordered a big brother, little sister print and had been waiting for these other two so that we could frame them all and hang them. Here they are....
The little boy and little girl are wearing shirts with Korean Air on them. The poem is about a big blue stork delivering a family together. And do you see that print above.....this lovely lady sent it unexpectedly due to the large delay in the order. Its about having a special place in our family tree for Jae-min and Jaelah. Aren't they beautiful. I love them!!!

The last love moment of the week came in a package from Korea....specifically from Jaelah's Omma.
She sent these 3 hand knit sweaters which we actually have pictures of Jaelah wearing when she was in Korea. We also have pictures of Jaelah using the Pororo backpack and the hippo and hat were part of our care package that we had sent. There was a lovely note attached to it all.

My heart broke all over again as I looked at all these things and read that note. The guilt of what happened on that heartwrenching day came flooding back. The tears, the looks, the screams, the heartbreak was all remembered. My head knows that her foster family was never meant to be forever, but my heart still hurts for all they (and she) had to endure to get her to us...her forever family.

As I smell the sweaters it all comes back...they smell like Korea and if you've ever been you know exactly what I mean. Just a little more sadness in this story of ours. I have been working on gathering some pictures to send to her Omma so now I will make it a priority. All that went down that day can not change the fact that this little girl was loved.

Let's Have A Party!!!

This weekend we had a little birthday party for this little 2 year old.....After the initial warm up to the new people in her house, Jaelah enjoyed her special day!! She loved her Elmo cake....
She loved opening her gifts and thought this sneezey baby Elmo was too funny.....
She enjoyed playing with Jae-min's little friends and it was so nice to see her get involved with them by the end of the day. My heart did a little leap for joy as she ran and chased the boys because if you have followed our story at all, you know what a HUGE step that is.

It was fun to celebrate her and to see her enjoy herself made it even better.

By the end of the night we had this little pouty face.....
Clutching her Elmo balloon and off to bed she went. Whoa, parties sure do wear you out, don't they??

And now for this little party animal......
He had a great time celebrating little sis's birthday and even ended the night with his undies on his head. I think we're in trouble with this one, what do you think???

A Birthday Girl

Two years ago, on Feb 1st, a young woman gave birth to a baby girl half a world away. This courageous woman endured that pain and discomfort knowing what the end result was....you see, she had already made an adoption plan well before this day. She birthed that baby girl knowing that she would not parent her, that this would be the only birthday they would be together.

Did she hear her cry for the very first time and can she remember that sound today?

Did she run her hands through that jet black hair and feel how silky smooth it was?

Did she smell that new baby smell only to know that she would soon smell her no more?

Did she hold that baby girl in her arms knowing she was going to let her go?

Could she ever have imagined on that day of her birth that this is what she'd be like today......
Jaelah Yun-jeong turned 2 years old yesterday Feb 1st. For an adoptive momma birthdays are always so bittersweet. We enjoy all the celebrations here but we always remember in the backs of our minds their birthmother.....for without their sacrifice this celebration wouldn't be. I wondered often yesterday if Jaelah's birthmother was thinking of her, thinking of that little baby she once knew. I remembered how difficult this day was last year.....knowing Jaelah in our hearts but not really knowing her yet. I felt like I could relate alittle to her birthmother....to know how it feels to be miles away on your daughters birthday.

We had a small celebration at home. I had other plans to do some fun things but poor Jae-min came down with pneumonia so we ended up staying home. We played playdough, made salt dough, did crafts, made a cake, and the kiddos even put on a show for me!!! It was a great day!!!

Do you remember this little hat from last year????
Well, this year it adorned a little girl's birthday head!!!!
Jaelah enjoyed opening her gifts, but was very excited for the Elmo paper they were wrapped in. Here she is studying that little red monster!!!!
And Jae-min gave Jaelah her most favorite gift of all.....a little Mater truck. You see ever since Christmas Jaelah insists on stealing this very truck from Jae-min....and then fights ensue. So Jae-min thought Jaelah could use a Mater of her own. And she loves it!!!! After coming home from the store over the weekend Jae-min hid the truck under his bed and finally was so excited to bring it out yesterday and give it to Yun-jeong!!!! She said "hank you" and they exchanged a hug. And big brother beamed from ear to ear.
Happy 2nd birthday little one!!!! May you have a happy birthday surrounded by the love of your forever family. And may you feel the love of those you left behind.....as I'm sure they were thinking of you today.

Because They Are Korean....

We have always felt strongly about keeping Jae-min and Jaelah's Korean heritage alive....because as we all know....these two cuties are Korean and proud of it!!!!

This week in Korea they are celebrating the Lunar New Year, the year of the dragon. We have been talking to Jae-min and Jaelah all week about the new year and how it is traditionally celebrated in Korea. They were excited to hear about the traditions and that makes our hearts big. Because as an adoptive parent we sometimes feel guilty about taking our children away from their heritage...so any little glimpse of Korean customs that we can provide we embrace it big time!!!

So tonight we decided to dress these two cuties in their hanboks.....

Here's Jae-min looking dapper as always. I couldn't believe that this year it actually fit him. This is the hanbok his omma gave him and he has worn it for the past 3 years. To see him filling it out and wearing it proudly made my heart swell.
And here's little Jaelah, looking like a beautiful princess. This hanbok was also given by her omma and she adorned it on her first birthday in Korea. I think she may have found it familiar as she was very excited to put it on.
And here are the 2 cutest Koreans ever!!!! Ok...I'll be honest here. I did tear up seeing these 2 little souls twirling and bouncing in these hanboks. To think this is how they would be celebrating this holiday in Korea had their lives been different makes me sad. And this is why we are committed to keeping their heritage alive!!! Because they deserve to know all about it. And any glimpse we can give them, we will.
This picture cracks me up. I think Jae-min is saying "look, lets just sit here really still so we can get this over with. What's with all the jumping around little sis??"
And of course no photo shoot would be complete without some silliness!!!!
Happy New Year everyone!!! May the year of the dragon be filled with health, happiness, and love.

A Special Delivery

We received a special package in the mail....a package all the way from Korea!!! If you remember when we traveled to bring Jaelah home, we met our sweet guide Seoyoung. She was so sweet and treated us to a day of fun, culture, shopping, and lunch. She even visited us at our hotel room after we picked up Jaelah with a little gift. Oh, and she was very smitten with this little man.....Seoyoung attends college in the US. We have corresponded with her on facebook and through emails since coming home. We had sent her some pictures of the kids and she sent us a reply asking us for our address. You see she was returning to Korea for the holidays and wanted to send us something special. And this is what came....
It's Pororo!!!!!! If you know anything about Korea and children in Korea you know who Pororo is!!! He's this sweet little guy who has other friends and ALL the kids in Korea love him. He even has his own tv show. Well, when we were with Seoyoung for the day I had mentioned that because of Jaelah's age we were searching for some Pororo stuff for her, you know so some things would be familiar to her. That day we never found anything Pororo (although we found other stuff at Namdeum market that we did end up buying) and Seoyoung had felt bad about it.

And this is why I LOVE the people of Korea......because 7 months later this very thoughtful college student went home and remembered that we were looking for this cute little penquin to make our daughter's transition just a little bit easier. And she sent it to us!!!! With the sweetest note inside.

And this little package made 2 little ones very very happy!!!!

Jaelah yelled PORORO and hugged that little penquin extra tight.

To think that a young girl half a world away that we had spent only one day out of entire lives with would think of our children and remember one little thing about that day and then act on it makes me tear up. But through our experience this is the type of people in this magical land.

We feel blessed to have Seoyoung in our lives. Our children should feel blessed to be so loved and cherished by such a thoughtful friend.