Off To Korea!!!!

...Not us yet, silly. This weekend we sent Jae-min's care package to Korea. We put many things inside...gifts for him as well as for his foster family. Then we put in extra hugs, kisses, and love, sealed it up and mailed it halfway around the world. We were alittle disappointed because we mailed it from the regular post office and they can't track international packages. We wish we had known this before they stamped it a million times, put it in their bin, and charged us lots to mail. Oh well. We have faith it gets there and Jae-min loves everything. Fingers crossed. With all that extra love we put inside it has to get there, right?
We also emailed our agency to make sure they received our BIG packet of paperwork and that everything looked good. Everything looked good to her and she mailed it to Korea on 12/22, so the ball is in full motion now!!! We wait for all the paperwork to be filed over the next several months and before you know it we'll be off to Korea.
For now our papers and care package are on their way.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

....to all. We had a great Christmas with family and friends and really enjoyed sharing our news with everyone. It was the first time we had seen many of you since the news of Jae-min, so thank you for your kind words.
Today we celebrated our last Christmas as a family of two (plus Marty). Jae-min was never far from our thoughts today. I'm not sure he had the extravagant celebration we had to celebrate the season and I found myself missing him terribly today. You would think that by knowing about him that it would have made the day easier, and it did, it's now just a different kind of longing. It's hard to wrap your brain around the fact that Jae-min is a living, breathing, little man somewhere and he's ours, all ours. I had made a comment to a friend the other day " I can't believe I'm going to have a son" and her response was "You already have a son, he just lives very far away" That comment gave me peace and of course made me cry. Because yes, we have a son and today we really really missed him.
A special thank you to all those that included Jae-min in your gift giving this year. He received so many wonderful and thoughtful things and those gifts and the gesture meant more to us than you'll ever know. Santa even dropped a little something off with Jae-min's name on it!!!
Merry Christmas sweet boy!!!!

That's My Boy!!!!

Last night we attended Joe's annual Christmas party. We were excited to go this year as many of Joe's colleagues are also his friends and we always have a great time. We printed smaller pictures of Jae-min and put them in a photo album to share with just a couple of people. When we arrived several close friends jumped up and congratulated us which was so sweet. I thought we would make the picture sharing low key when all of a sudden Joe begins to rummage in my purse for the photo book. The next thing I knew he joined a circle of his friends (all big, burly, macho construction/electrician guys) and began flipping through the book!!! I then heard the most magical words ever come out of Joe's mouth "IT'S MY BOY" The picture that followed will be forever etched in my brain. Joe standing there with the proudest, biggest smile on his face. In that moment I fell in love with him all over again. This moment was followed by all of these big, burly, macho guys leaning in for a closer look.... their faces softening, smiling, and just pure joy and congratulations and happiness for both of us. Joe has found so much support from these guys and to see him so excited to share "his boy" with them was priceless. I sat back and enjoyed watching. I don't think we've smiled this much in a very long time.
Tonight was Joe's night to feel proud, and boy did he look good doing it!!!!!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Today we mailed off our official acceptance of referral packet!!!!!!!!!!! So, hoping that nothing unforseen happens, this would mean Jae-min will be stuck with us forever. The packet was big, with lots to read, sign, notorize, and copy. It had to go in a specific order and mailed in a certain way. Ugh. Fingers crossed that we dotted the i's and crossed the t's so no hold ups happen. We meticulously went over each form over and over to hope it was all correct. This is the final paperwork that's in our hands. Now, we throw up our hands to the fates and more paperwork will be processed in Korea and the US. I'm a bit of a control freak so this is making me a bit nervous, but we hope we get very kind and competent people who's desk our papers pass and maybe when they see that adorable face they'll move things right along. Here's to hoping for a speedy travel call!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told my work yesterday about Jae-min at our annual Christmas party. Did you hear the screams from where you were sitting? It was such an amazing reaction and everyone is so thrilled. We have 3 pregnant people due this spring so it's fun to be waiting for our babies together (although ours just lives halfway around the world :) I got offers for a play group with an OT and PT in attendance so we'll have lots of fun!!!
Jae-min is so loved and real already it boggles our minds

Things Keep Getting Better!!!!!!

Today we got home from work, checked the computer to find the cutest little face staring back at us. We got updated pictures of Jae-min!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were nervous to look at first, but quickly got over that and saw the cutest baby ever..... We didn't think he could get any cuter but we were wrong. This proud mommy and daddy are just soooooooooooooooo in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's perfect. We don't know how old he is in the pictures or any updated measurements, but we'll take what we can get. We stared at the photo so intently and know its him by the nose... it's the same as his referral photo. He's definately being well taken care of as he looks chunky (and short, he'll fit right in).

Of course its bittersweet to see him growing halfway around the world and we're missing it. But we have these pictures to hold us over and we are thankful to his foster family for caring for him so deeply. They will always hold a special place in our hearts.

So, without further ado, here's a grown up Jae-min!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cute huh?

Where's his neck? you ask. We're wondering that too Haha

The Best Christmas Gift Ever!!!!!

Santa came to our house early this year and brought the best gift ever....... On Dec 2nd we were matched with a beautiful baby boy from South Korea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We can't believe it and it all feels so surreal!! Today we had an appointment with our agency to officially accept his referral. We met with the head of the Korea team and the first thing she said to us was "oh my, he is the cutest baby" with this huge smile on her face. I sat a little straighter in my chair with pride thinking "we think so too". He was born on 6/12/08, so just turned 6 months old. We think he's perfect.

We are over the moon with excitement and can't believe this is really happening!!!!! We have waited soooooooooooo long and when we saw his picture we instantly knew HE was the one we had been waiting for. All the tears, heartbreak, and worry (well, not really the worry, it's just a different kind of worry now) have begun to melt away and our dreams are coming true. Yahooo!!

We now have a pile of acceptance papers to fill out and notorize and then mail back to our agency. We are thinking to travel in about 3-6 months to bring him home. There are certain things that have to be completed before we get that travel call, but we'll be patient.
We can't believe how lucky we are!!! We can't wait to travel half way around the world and meet this little man!!! This is what we have been waiting for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 Years Of Wedded Bliss!!!!

Today we celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary!!!!! It feels like just yesterday we stood on that altar with butterflies in our tummy and made our promises. It has been a great 10 years and I can honestly say I love Joe more today than the day we got married. I'll never forget the fun we had, nor will I ever forget the smile on Joe's face when he opened that door for our blind date. He truly is my best friend. Happy Anniversary.. We're heading up north for some rest and relaxation, staying at our favorite B&B. We've had a very busy week, so we're looking forward to getting away for alittle bit :)


We attended our waiting family group last night and low and behold, a miracle did happen. They announced that the group will continue!!!!! I guess the reactions from others were a bit more than they could handle. We're very excited as we really have begun to connect with other families. Yay. Things are looking up!!!
We also got an interesting email yesterday from our social worker. It was very interesting because we had talked with her just the day before and she didn't mention anything. Apparently yesterday was her last day working there. That's it, no phone call goodbye or anything. We were alittle worried so contacted someone today and they assured us we wouldn't fall through the cracks, and we now have a new name for contact. Don't worry we're getting very good at standing up for ourselves when it comes to our kids so we won't let them forget about us!!!!

Off we go on a weekend getaway. We're planning to go to an island in Feb. for a big trip to celebrate as that's when the winter will feel long and we'll really need to get away.
Here's to 10(thousand) more years!!!!!

We Are Thankful

As Thanksgiving approaches we thought it was a good time to put things into perspective and to be thankful for all that we have (which we know is alot). We are blessed with so much its sometimes easy to overlook what's right in front of you. So, tonight we are thankful for:
1. Each other. We continue to be 2 peas in a pod, happy. There is no one in this world I would rather be on this journey with.
2. Our family and friends. All the support and your health as well as our own. Stay healthy everyone so we can all enjoy KB and Ava together.
3. This journey to our children. We are thankful we had the courage to listen to our hearts and follow them. Even though this journey is tough at times, we're thankful for our spots in two lines. We have learned so much about our selves and each other and we look forward to discovering even more.
4. And lastly, a birthmother who will be so courageous in making an adoption plan. We only hope we make her proud.

At the Thanksgiving table we will bring KB and Ava in our hearts. You won't be able to see them, but if you try real hard I bet you'll be able to feel them. We can.

3 Months Down!!!!!

Today marks 3 months in our wait for KB!!! Tonight we celebrated quietly at home thinking and talking about our future. We just can't wait to meet this little bundle and find out what all this fuss has been about. So...in honor of this upcoming day I finished my first knitting project since my class last spring (I know, I know get a move on would ya) but ta da................a special gift for KB made especially by me, mom to be. Isn't it cute? It came out great and I loved making it. It was a little surreal when it was finished and we put it on the table downstairs. We both just looked at it and around the same time started laughing. Someday there will be a cute little head and face under that hat. How stinkin cute. Joe was afraid that KB will get made fun of at the park because of the pom pom but I think it's cute!!!!
You may be wondering why blue? Do we know something you don't. No, we still don't know if KB is a boy or a girl. Initially they were thinking boy but others have been surprised by a girl referral so we just don't know. I knitted blue because, well, I just did. Maybe a mommy to be intuition, maybe I just liked the color, or maybe I'll knit a little pink or purple one next. It was just the project I needed and we love it. So...tonight we think of KB bundled in a little blue hat made with love, enormous love!!!

Oh, and Martin can't wait for KB either. He wants to give up the modeling and go back to just being a DOG!!!!

Just One More Disappointment

...in this journey!!
Last night we attended our monthly waiting family meeting (which was rescheduled from last Thurs due to scheduling conflicts with social worker). We were excited to go and became more excited when three families who have been home for 2 weeks from China brought their babies in to show them off. They were adorable!!! All around 10 months old and one just loved Joe!! It was so fun to hear their stories and see their faces so happy. We also met two other families in the process adopting babies from Korea. The night was going so great and we were feeling so uplifted and then the disappointing news. Our agency has decided to end these monthly groups for reasons they would not discuss. Needless to say there were shocked faces as some of these families have been coming for 3 years (China waiting families). After the initial shock the tears started flowing from families who have been with the group a long time. Then it was almost a mutiny.

I am saddened because we finally felt like we found a place where we fit in and people "got us". I am sad to not form those bonds with other adoptive families and to share in their joys as they would one day share in mine. I am sad that now poor Joe will have to again listen to all my ramblings and he is so sweet to do it. I had found a place where I didn't feel "crazy" and could feel the way I felt and others were feeling the same way. Somedays I feel as if my head is going to pop off and it was nice to know I wasn't alone. We know that unless you have ever been where we are you just can't understand, and we are sad that those that know are being taken away. I thought I had found a glimmer of hope in this hellish journey. Disappointingly, I guess not.
There will be another group next month and then maybe one in Jan. but that's it, unless of course by some miracle they rethink this decision and let the group continue. I didn't realize how dependent I was on that support after only just a few times going. It just always feels like we are truly alone.

Update:
China referrals arrived this week. A huge disappointing month as they only matched two days. That's right...2 days Feb 17,2006 is the new cutoff. Disappointing to say the least!!!
For our agency Korea had 11 referrals for the month of Oct which was very large. We hope for more big months!!!

Thanks for listening. Just keep us in your thoughts as some days are just so hard.

A Fantastic Find

If you know me even just a little, you know that I love a good book. I love to read, heck, it may be a slight obsession!!! I always have a book that I'm into on my nightstand, in my car, on the back deck in the summer. I love fiction, and have now become in love with books about Korea and China and anything adoption related. If I could change one thing about Joe it would be that I wish he loved to read as much as I do. He just can't get into it. I guess I read enough for both of us.

So, last weekend we were out and about and we stopped at a discount store. Once inside I told Joe I'd be in the book section. Well, I found a fantastic find. Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul. Its a compilation of stories celebrating forever families. They are feel good short stories that warm your heart. I'm enjoying catching snippets of stories here and there. They definately warm the heart and lift the spirit. What a great find!!!!!

Work: Busy and Tough

So, work is work and we're both very thankful in this day and age to have our jobs.
In one word, Joe's work is BUSY. He's been on the same project for 3.5 years which is unheard of in his line of work. Well, the finishing deadline has now come and gone and they're not near being finished yet. So, they've decided for the next several weeks to work overtime to get the job done. It's ironic to us that they would work overtime when after this job there doesn't seem to be too much lined up, but deadlines are deadlines. So, my Joe will be working late and on Saturdays for the next few weeks. He's ready for this job to be over so he can start another one. 3 years is a long time to be in the same place.

In one word, my work is TOUGH. I've been starting to see more involved kiddos and although its good to challenge myself its also tough. It's hard to sit across from a family and share concerns that result in a diagnosis of autism. It's hard to walk into a house of a baby who's twin passed away at birth. Don't get me wrong, its also very rewarding. Like seeing a child who has CP start to communicate with the tools you taught her to use. Or to see a little 26 week preemie now running, jumping, and getting ready for preschool.
It's tough in another sense too. It's working with kids beautiful kids. I get very close to my families as I'm at their home every week for months, sometimes even years. They often ask that dreaded question Do you have any kids? To which I answer, Not yet. Some I have told our story to and they're very excited and hope I'm still working with them when I get news.
I guess you could compare my job to this: Imagine if all you wanted in life was a sportscar. You work at a car dealership where you take care of all these beautiful cars and help them get ready to run. But...you can't ever take one home. Tough, huh?

So, we've applied for the greatest job in the world: Parenthood. We're just waiting to hear if we got the job. We think we're qualified, don't you?

Annual Halloween Party

Last night we had our annual halloween party which has become a tradition since 2002. Each year's theme is decided at the previous year's party and this years theme was Stars Wars. It was a tough one!!! Everyone looked great and we had a great time. There's always alot of food, drinks, chatting, and overall fun. This year's party was a bit smaller than most because of others schedules but we had a great time anyway. Thanks to all who attended and may the force be with you!!!! Next year's theme: USA
Will we be in the USA this time next year to host this party? We hope not!!! Fingers crossed we'll have a new face (even just a picture) next Halloween party in the good old USA.
Happy Halloween (party)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! everyone

2 Months Down!!!!!

...waiting for KB!!!! Wow, that month went by fast although we think about KB every day, heck who are we kidding we think about KB almost every minute of every day!!! All in all it still feels good to be that much closer in this insurmountable wait. Two months is two months any way you slice it!!!

To celebrate, we went to a new Korean restaurant in Canton Ma called Korean King BBQ. We decided to try the buffet today and maybe next time we'll try the fire grills and cook our food right at our table. We stuck with eating things we were somewhat familiar with and didn't venture into foreign territory for our first time. We tried vegetable tempora (very yummy), Kimchi (ooh, very spicy), dumplings (which Joe liked), and other concoctions (all of
which passed the Joe approval). Joe encouraged me to try a soup
called Miso (which is made up of salt, seaweed, and bean paste) Yuck!!!...of course Joe shares these ingredients with me as he is putting the spoon into my mouth :). So, can you tell which plate belongs to who? I bet you can. Joe went up for seconds, and thirds, and maybe even forths. He'll be eating fine in Korea!!!

The atmosphere was awesome. It wasn't too busy and we just enjoyed watching the other families, majority of which were Korean. There was one family with 3 little babies and I told Joe he could take them down and I'd grap the adorable kids but then we decided against it. Haha. Don't worry, we'll just keep waiting. As we were getting ready to go Joe asked if I'd had my fill of watching this amazing culture and its people. I said no way but we could go. The people were so friendly and welcoming and encouraged us to come back. Definately.

Today we celebrate you KB!!!! and get our taste buds ready for the trip of a lifetime!!!!

The World In Color

Fall has definately arrived. As I drive around all day with my job I had noticed that the leaves were beginning to change colors and look so beautiful. Fall is my favorite time of the year for this job. Driving through the back roads seeing all the trees with their vibrant colors just makes me smile. This weekend we saw bursts of colors when we went camping. We had a great time doing all kinds of fun fall activities. The nights were brisk and the days were sunny. A perfect fall weekend!!!

We think fall would be a good time of year to "have" (or in our case meet) our baby. Well, when it comes right down to it fall, winter, spring, summer, next year, next month, next week would also be great. We're not picky!!!! As we went on a hayride this weekend I got teary eyed just yearning to hold a little one down those bumpy roads and sit him next to a pumpkin and take his picture. Its those little things that make me teary. We've gotten pretty good at hiding how we feel and just trudging along but when its just the two of us we talk about our hopes and dreams and how unbelievably hard this is. We enjoyed these experiences with our families this weekend and know we are blessed to have all of you. We know SOMEDAY we'll watch KB and Ava running through the apple orchards being chased by their cousins laughing. Oh, what a sweet sight that will be.

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

Come on everyone, sing it with us. You know the song by Tom Petty.
"The waiting is the hardest part. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. Waiting is the hardest part".
We've found ourselves humming this song lately as this verse is so true. The wait is truly the hardest part!!! We know its hard for those not going through the process to completely understand so we decided to attend the monthly waiting families meeting at WHFC last Thursday night. We met some very nice people waiting for thier children from Russia, Ethiopia, and China. No one waiting for Korea could make it that night. We felt so bad for the family waiting for China as they looked so beaten down. They've been waiting since 3/06. We told the group about both of our little ones and the social worker who runs the group said we are a perfect example of why they now allow concurrent adoptions. She was thrilled for us as the timing now is just perfect. It felt good to talk to others who "get it". We could almost finish their thoughts as they spoke about the difficulty of the wait and others reactions to the adoption. We really enjoyed ourselves and hope to go back each month. I guess they encourage you to bring your child to the group when they come home so everyone can see them. How fun to see the process come full circle. The group solidified once again that this is the right decision. They loved our perspective ...This is our journey to our daughter in China with a stop along the way in Korea for her brother or sister.

Referrals arrived from China this past week. The cutoff is alittle unclear but it looks like its 2/15/06. 6 days closer!!!!

Martin's 8 !!!!

That's right. Yesterday our little dog turned 8 years old!!! It's hard to believe its been that long but its true. He's such my little shadow. Many have asked how we think he'll do when his world gets turned upside down with the addition of two little ones and we think he'll be fine. We know it will be an adjustment (as it will be for all of us) but we plan to continue to include him in everything so he'll just roll along, we hope. I have visions of him laying by my feet in the middle of the night as I rock our little one back to sleep. Happy Birthday Buddy!!!!!

This week we got a phone call from our agency for Korea just asking a simple question about our immigration forms. When the phone rang and I saw on the caller ID WHFC my heart skipped a beat and my hands started shaking. Now my head knows that logically our referral call would not be coming this early, but my heart wouldn't listen. Someday that phone will ring and it will change our lives forever. I have replayed that moment in my mind over and over again and know that it will be one of the greatest moments in our lives. We know that we told you all we won't discuss timeframes with you but we want to be clear that it will be a bit of a wait for referral. This process isn't lightening speed, just faster than a snail's pace!!!! So, until that life changing phone call happens we enjoy the anticipation and all that comes along with it.

Korean Barbecue Burgers

Tonight Joe decided to try a new recipe...Korean barbecue burgers. They are based on bulgogi, a traditional Korean barbecue
speciality of marinated sirloin (well, thats right up Joe's alley!!!!) In Korea you can go to a bulgogi restaurant where you sit around
a flame and cook your own meat-you know exactly where we'll be
when we travel to Korea. The burgers called for things like ginger, soy sauce, sesame oil and several other ingredients. They were actually very tasty!!!! Of course we had to "Americanize" them by adding cheese, yum.
Good job Joe!!! KB would be proud!!!! Next up Kimchi. Well, maybe not we'll see.


Oh, and toall you readers ,we know you're out there and we want to say thanks for stopping in. Feel free to leave us a comment or two in the comments section. We'd love to hear from you!!

Isn't Joe just going to be the best Dad??

1 Month Down!!!!!!

...waiting for KB!! Today marks one month since we joined the line for a sweet bundle from Korea. Waiting stinks but we have committed ourselves to making the most of it. So, last night we realized this day was approaching so we talked and decided that each month that goes by in our wait we'll mark with a little fun activity to celebrate this journey to KB. So tonight this tradition began. We found a book titled Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born (after lots of time in Borders). Its a great adoption story for kids. We both loved it and decided it was perfect for tonight. We also have a special about festivals in Korea on our DVR so we plan to watch this too. Tonight we celebrate you, KB!!!!!
Some will probably wonder why we don't celebrate each month's anniversary for Ava. Well, that would just be too depressing!!!! We celebrate her each year on our anniversary of paperwork to China (it looks like we'll have plenty of those to celebrate). I was talking to a "friend" on an adoption group on line and she was complaining about waiting 6 months already for her baby from Korea. Little did she know that we are old pros. Its been 16 months in total for us. Someone recently said that your wait begins the moment God puts these children in your heart and mind. If thats the case we've been waiting far to long!!! Happy 1 month KB How many more to go?

Remembering 9/11

Today we remember exactly where we were on that sad day. We took time today to remember all those that lost their lives on that horrific day. Its weird that even after all this time seeing the pictures just sends chills through you. We learned from that day just how precious life is. I'll give Joe an extra kiss and snuggle tonight, knowing just how lucky I am!!

OOPS-we jumped the gun

As you probably have seen, in the world of adoption things move pretty slow. So, with that in mind Joe and I had seen that our fingerprints and immigration forms were expiring on Nov 2nd so being the organzied, worriers that we (well I) are we decided to reapply in August thinking it would take months to get it done. Nope, lightening speed!!!! That fingerprint appointment came quick and this weekend our new immigration form came in the mail. So, we basically "screwed" ourselves over by two months. And two months in the adoption world can be like years.
We were so afraid that there would be a glitch and it couldn't expire (as now we need it twice) that we panicked and did it way to early. It's good for 18 months so will we have to do it again? We just don't know. Oh well, better safe than sorry.
Someday we'll be able to relax again!! Someday when we see those sweet faces. Until then we'll continue to keep track of all this paperwork and get things done lickety split!!! Two months we could have used on the other end. Oh well, you live and you learn.

Stork Has Landed

...From China, that is. Referrals began arriving today alittle unexpectedly due to little to no rumors that they were on their way. It looks like the cutoff is 2/9/06 for this month. That's 9 days closer to seeing our sweet Ava. We'll take it!!!!

Mission Accomplished!!!

Today we had to be at the fingerprint office in RI by 8am. Why RI and not Boston you ask? We're not sure but after todays experience we'll take it, it was heaven!!! We arrived, filled out paperwork and brought it to a kind man who congratulated us on our adoption. We sat in a very short line and a very nice girl called and did our fingerprints in record time Whala done. Done I asked her? Yup they look great and you'll hear soon. The first time we went they had a hard time with mine (it's the teeny tiny fingers) but today the first try. She was really sweet and asked where we were adopting from. Lately, thats a tough question to answer especially if people don't have alot of time for us to explain. I first told her China and then knew Joe was coming next and would probably say Korea, and then she'd be very confused. So, I explained everything as she did my fingerprints. She was really sweet and interested. The whole process was great. And we were out of there by 8:25. Now what?

Well, we took advantage of the day off together and went into Newport and had a fabulous day. We went into an asian shop and found a small silk purse that I will use to house my new camera. There were beautiful silk table runners but they were very expensive. My plan is when we go to China we'll buy plenty of silk items at cheap cheap prices!!!!! A girl can dream right? All in all a fabulous day with the one I love. What could be better than that? Well, a fabulous day with the three I love (Joe, Ava, and KB-this is what we have been calling our baby from Korea), but we're working on it!!!!!

More contact, yahoo

We received an email from our contact person at the agency on Monday welcoming us officially to the Korea program. She had a very nice letter with our date of application as 8/19/08. There was still no mention of the homestudy to Korea date so we became alittle nervous. I decided to drop her an email and ask. Well, apparently this little term is not all its cracked up to be and really doesn't mean much. She said 8/19 secures our spot in line and thats all that matters. She explained it further but we won't bore you with the details. The only important thing is we OFFICIALLY JOINED THE LIST ON 8/19 and thats our spot in line. Yahoo.

She sent along other info as well. Info on escorting and traveling. Reading this info made me tear up and get this shaking feeling all over like maybe, just maybe, this could really happen!!! We just feel more guarded than ever and feel like if we say it out in the universe then we'll jinx it. Its so hard after this year of disappointment to get excited, but we don't want to look back after we have our baby and wish we had celebrated the wait more. We'll work through it. When we have quiet time we find ourselves dreaming of a new little face. And he/she is oh so adorable!!!

Rolling Right Along

Today I got home from work and Joe had multiple pieces of mail from the mailbox pertaining to our adoptions.(he always gets the mail when its the good stuff!!!) We found 2 very important documents from the government stating we have an appointment next Friday to have our fingerprints updated. It all worked out great as I took next week off because I have so much vacation time I have to use still.
We got info from our agency about waiting family groups now that we are officially waiting. We are very interested in these as we are hoping to connect with others who are waiting too. We plan to check them out. I guess when it rains it pours. All this action and then for months there won't be anything. Oh well over the past 15 months we've gotten very used to waiting. We'll be old pros by the time this is all done.

Good News Times Two

Joe reported to me today that he had two separate ladybugs on him today at work. This must mean good news times two is headed our way, right? Well, exactly!!!!!

After playing email tag with our agency multiple times yesterday we received an email today saying "Congratulations, you are officially on the Korea program waiting list" Yahoooooooooooo So, today is the first official day of our wait. How long do we wait you ask? Well, don't try to trick us, we're not telling. All we'll say is that it is a bit of a wait just not the estimated huge wait for China right now. We know all this can change in the blink of an eye in international adoption, but for today we celebrate our spot in two lines. Two lines that will hopefully bring us to the most precious gifts of all. OUR BABIES!!! I guess the director of our program will get in touch with us soon but for tonight we'll go to sleep knowing that all of this hard work paid off. Its official and we couldn't be more excited.

The second ladybug delivered a notice from the US government confirming they received our request to extend our current immigration forms and update our fingerprints. We should hear within 2 weeks of an appointment date to have this done. I feel better knowing at least that this form made it to the appropriate location. We're moving right along. Hopefully no more turtles in the way.

Please continue to think of us and hope and pray that this all turns out magical in the end. We want it more than anything and know this is truly how it was always meant to be.

THE BEST NEWS JUST ARRIVED

So..... I just got home from work and was drawn to the computer so I turned it on and saw no new emails!!! I went back into my funk and realized that I shouldn't be expecting anything as the alotted time frame of 5 weeks isn't over yet. I went about my business and all of a sudden the phone rang and on the caller ID it says WIDE HORIZONS FOR CHILDREN oh, I think to myself, they must have a question about our info. Well, I answer the phone and its our social worker and she says the best news yet I JUST FINISHED YOUR HOMESTUDY!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe my ears could this be true? She could hear the excitement in my voice and started laughing. Since I was already on the computer, she had me open the document and make sure I could get into it. I can't believe it yup there it was the letter I've been longing to see. We talked for alittle while and she verified our cell numbers again (does she know something we don't) just kidding I won't get ahead of myself!! I'm just enjoying this moment and this very big step. So, now we read it over, email her any corrections and she then gives it to the right people. Of course she won't be in tomorrow so we'll drop her an email for Monday.

A funny thing happened today. While many of you know about the luck ladybugs have surrounding China adoptions, well we thought we'd continue thinking these are lucky for Korea as well. My dad came by this morning to pick up the dog for the day before I went to work and as he walked into the house I noticed something on his shirt One ladybug! We brushed it off but I had this feeling that something good would happen today and it did Yahoooooooooooo!!!!
We spilled the beans alittle this weekend too with my family of aunts and uncles and told them the news and after all went home there was one ladybug on the umbrella outside. After we told our parents we found one ladybug on the ceiling the next morning. Are these signs you ask??? We'll take them.

Yahoooooooooooooooo to a great end to a good day!!!!!! This is really starting to feel real and I got all teary eyed when I read the homestudy. We want this so much. One step closer. Here we come baby.

Referrals Arrived

Well, August referrals finally arrived from China!!! They were alittle late coming in this month (I'm sure due to the Olympics) but they came. We were all wondering if they would skip sending out referrals due to their focus being elsewhere. They referred families with an LID up to 1/31/06. That looks like 6 days which is way better than the initial projected 2 days. So that means that Jan 06 has come to a close-it only took like 6 months to get through right? Oh well, the babies posted were beautiful and thats what continues to give us hope. And without hope, what else have we got?

Our social worked for Korea still hasn't contacted us, so I guess the begging didn't work. Oh well, what can you do? We sent out our forms to get re-fingerprinted and get all of our new immigration forms updated. That should be another fun trip to the office with them trying desperately to find good fingerprints on my tiny little hands.

Olympic Fever

Tonight was the opening ceremony for the olympics hosted in Beijing China. Let me just tell you it was FANTASTIC!!!!!! The way they incorporated their culture into a beautiful show was breathtaking. We enjoyed watching and again just felt this indescribable connection to it all. Joe and I got Chinese food and watched the opening ceremonies together. Tears filled my eyes as I watched just thinking how much I long to visit this amazing country and to be entrusted to raise one of their children. Joe was also impressed with what he saw. He was amazed that there were actually people under the blocks that made up the Great Wall. China certainly outdid themselves.

Definately Progress

Well, our dossier made it to our agency and they emailed and said everything looks great!! We are also now on the monthly update list and they sent us last months update and newsletter. As I read it I began to feel very nervous and excited (I think for the first time) and alittle less guarded. This is starting to feel so right. The other night Joe, with all his wisdom, said that he thinks this is the way it was always supposed to be. This is truly our lives path and we're so glad we opened our hearts and minds to listen, because if we hadn't I think we would have missed out on something wonderful.
Yes, we dropped an email to our social worker and gave her the lowdown. She responded with this "Thanks for the update" thats it? Well, we've made peace with this attitude and accept that she's going to write it at her own pace. Oh well, this will give Joe and I more time to spend as a family of 2 before our lives get turned upside down. We received another update that we are preapporved from Holt for Joe's little medical thing (he takes meds for thyroid) Yeah us!!! Any little news like that we'll take.

On another note China has not released any referrals this month as of yet. The Olympics will begin on Friday and the entire community is holding their breath that referrals still come out. We'll see.
As we go through the summer we continue to dream of a summer when we watch two little ones play in the backyard and at the beach. Yes, we can see it in our heads. Someday it will be our reality.

Maybe some progress....Maybe

So.......... since our homevisit Joe and I have kicked it into high gear and have called numerous people at our agency to ask many questions about why this process is taking so long. As many of you know both Joe and I are pretty laid back, trusting people. We just assumed (apparently incorrectly again) that everything was going according to planned. Well, this laid back attitude bit us in the butt once again. You would have thought we'd have learned with China (heck, it only took us 10 months to kick it into high gear) and see the writing on the wall. After our last visit something didn't feel right so we called some people and got some very interesting answers. Apparently, we don't have to wait for a new immigration form and for new fingerprints, we can just use the approval from China. Oh yeah, that will save months!!!! Also we can submit our dossier to the Korea team now (pictures and forms) and not wait for the homestudy Double yay!!!!! So, are you telling me that all we're waiting for is for our turtle social worker to write the homestudy???? It appears that way. Oh my, but remember she said it would take like 5 weeks to do a first draft. Well, our rears are in gear and we're dropping her alittle email tonight to explain our findings and beg (nicely of course) that she gets her rear in gear and just writes in quick. Thats all we can hope for.
Oh, and by the way. You know all the reading, classes, and studying we've been doing. I guess we didn't have to because if we use our China immigration forms we won't have to be Hague compliant. You have got to be kidding!!! Well, we tried to look at the bright side and when the adoption in China finally happens, we'll have to be Hague compliant if we use the immigration stuff for Korea so maybe she just saved us time in the long run. We'll keep telling ourselves this.
Next step. Contact social worker and start begging. Of course she's on vacation this week so we won't hear until next week. Wish us luck

Home Visit Completed

Our social worker visited this Monday for our homevisit, which is the last step before she writes the homestudy. She thought the house was "lovely" and we talked more about stuff we've talked about before and things went well....well, until the end when she dropped the bomb that she would be away next week and then had others to write so the homstudy won't be done for around 5 weeks!!!!! What is going on here? Why is this so difficult? From start to finish with China it took 3 months-that's it, just 3 months!!! We begun this officially in May and Korea is actually easier than the China paperwork and at this rate it will be lucky to make it to Korea by Christmas!!!! I just wanted to cry! For the whole month of July we just sat around and waited for the homevisit and now for the whole month of August we'll just sit around and wait for what? our turn so she can write it. As you can I'm feeling really beaten down. The wait for Korea has increased in this amount of time our social worker drags her feet. She really doesn't understand our sense of URGENCY!!! We need to officially get on a list HURRY UP
Oh, and another little glitch. Our immigratiion and fingerprints expire for China soon and the original plan was to just do a change of country to Korea. But.... without the darn homstudy we can't apply with Korea yet. So, we put a call into someone and maybe they can help.(we aren't holding our breath) Our social worker didn't appear to concerned, I think she thinks its our problem not hers.
Just had to vent!!! What do I keep telling myself? All these little obstacles will bring us to the child thats meant to be ours. We're just so ready now. It really shouldn't have to be this hard!!!

Secret Revealed!!!!

Tonight we had our parents over for dinner and revealed the big secret WE ARE PURSUING A KOREAN ADOPTION!!! We told them in the same way that we had told them about China. They seemed excited but we refused to talk about timeframe and such. We asked them to keep it a secret until our homestudy goes to Korea. We have our home visit scheduled for Mon 7/21 then we'll see what happens. It felt great to get it off our chests. We continue to feel a bit guarded, but the excitement is definately building. We are dreaming of two babies. That's right, TWO BABIES. We have always had a picture of Ava in our minds and a new picture of her brother or sister began to appear tonight. I have a strange feeling all of our dreams will come true!!!!!

4th of July, Camping, Birthdays

This year we celebrated the 4th of July in Maine camping. We had a great time-the weather was good and so was the company!!!!
Our quest for our homestudy to be complete is moving at a snails pace. We have an appt for a home visit on 7/21 but other than that nothing. Joe's been alittle panicky lately saying that he guesses our social worker isn't feeling the same sense of urgency as we are. Hopefully this visit will put a little fire under her and she'll write it quickly. We keep asking her questions of what we should be doing in the meantime and she keeps saying she'll let us know. I'm trying to remember that all of these little stalls will lead us to OUR baby and we'll know why when we see them. Well, that's what I keep telling myself anyway.
In the world of China adoption the CCAA matched children with families logged in up to 1/25/06. Another month of extreme disappointment!!!!! There were early rumors they had made it to Feb, but just rumors. I continue to tell myself that it is not our right to raise these children from China, but rather our priveledge. Our time will come (maybe when we're 80, but it will come nonetheless). We have a small plate with a ladybug on our fireplace that says Keep the faith. That just about sums it up.
My birthday was this weekend. I handled it pretty well considering and had a nice day with family. As I blew out my candles Joe reminded me to make a wish. I looked at him and told him I already did. Hopefully this will be the year it comes true!!!!!!

Pre-adopt group

Today we attended our pre-adopt group at WHFC office. It was a small group, including us there were only 4 other couples. 4 families are adopting from Korea and one found a waiting child in Columbia. It was interesting to talk to them, each came with a different story. One couple is also in line with China and using CAWLI as well. It really put that process into perspective as they have a 6/06 LID and are persuing Korea in the meantime. That's right I said 6/06!!!!!! and they think they'll have plenty of time between the two adoptions as well. That definately put everything into perspective and solidified our decision of our continued adoption with China with a stop along the way to pick up a little brother or sister.
This weekend we did our online courses. They were very informative and we got lots of great info. Things are moving along. Our social worker led the group today and we connected with her and she wants us to call on Thurs. to schedule the home visit. I think thats the last step before she writes the homestudy (well, I think anyway.)
Joe's having his physical tonight. Fingers crossed that his doctor thinks he'll be a great parent!!
This weekend we also put cabinets in our mudroom (we did many projects) and they look great. I told Joe that someday we can hang little hooks from the bottom for little jackets, low enough for them to reach. He got this huge grin on his face and giggled. We love our babies already!!!

Medical Records Seminar

On Monday night we went to a medical records seminar with a pediatrician from Childrens Hospital. She was so informative and of course some of the stuff was alittle scary to talk about but she seems so positive and said the majority of children do so well (which we knew already). We'll contact her as our referral comes close and fax it to her to review. We'll also bring our baby to her after about 4 wks of being home just for a look. Well, if all goes according to planned we'll see her a few times!!!
We've been puttering along with the Hague stuff and Joe has to finish his chapters and then we have a group next Tues. Hopefully things will continue and our social worker will pick up the pace. We saw her at the seminar and she thought we looked familiar but didn't know us. After that I got the giggles because Joe couldn't believe she doesn't remember us after the looooooooong interegation. We'll have to see what she says this Tues. Who knows, maybe it will all make sense to her. Oh, at the seminar we got a baby bag with formula which had been left over from another class. I was shocked Joe let it into the house. The formula expires in 2009. Do we dare say we will be able to use it? We'll see.

Happy Father's Day June 15th

Happy Father's Day to our dad's!!! They are both such wonderful guys and we are so thankful they are both here with us and we could celebrate with them.
Also, Happy Father's Day to Joe! I know that he's a dad in his heart and can't wait for the day when I can see him be a dad to a little one. I know that I'll sit back in pure amazement. Someday honey.

Birthdays and Referrals

Happy Birthday Joe!!! Today is dear Joe's birthday. We had a little get together last Friday night and today we hung pretty low(after work). Another year older. At least we're the same age for one month!! Happy Birthday and many more.

Referrals arrived today and it appears that the cutoff is either 1/20 or 1/22 of 2006. This is alittle better than 3 days. Its also a happy time for one family that we know. My friend from gradeschools brother had a 1/16 LID and saw their beautiful TWIN daughters for the first time today. Thats right TWINS. They are 15 months old. My mom called with the news and tears sprang to my eyes. It's weird to think that someone we know got their referral. It's starting to happen!! We felt emotions for them like I know we will feel someday for our own referral. Congratulations to all those seeing their babies. This is the best time of the month. We continue to hold out hope and carry Ava in our hearts.

Dragon Boat Festival

Yesterday we went to the Dragon Boat Festival in Boston. It was a hot day but we had a great time. The races were fun to watch and the entertainment was great. They had Chinese dancers and Korean drummers performing. The atmosphere was just awesome and it's hard to explain but we just felt so comfortable all day. It was funny because we saw a couple from our culture class who were expecting a referral next with their baby. We were too chicken to say hi so we admired them from afar. Their baby was adorable!!! Joe was going to try some food wrapped in seaweed but at the last minute he chickened out so we ate chinese food (like you get at a restaurant). They had alot of crafts for kids and we can't wait to bring our children here someday. It was so interesting to just soak up the culture and language. We completley enjoyed ourselves!!!

Red Balloon

One red balloon and one lucky ladybug. Happy one year LID.

One year celebrating China LID May 25,2008

One year ago today we were officially logged in to China. Everyone says Wow, a year already! and we feel that way too except when we live in it day to day. This year has been hopeful, difficult, happy, and sad in the adoption world. We have seen many families see, hold, and cry over becoming a family and we have cried along with them. We know someday it will be our turn.
We celebrated today by going out to Chinese dinner and then we let one red balloon go in our backyard hoping it will make it to China. It was a bittersweet celebration but we are pleased with how we honored Ava Rose today.
When we went to get the balloon we asked for one red balloon. The lady responded "Just one" Yup, just one. Then the cashier says "Just one" Yup just one Joe proceeded to say in the parking lot "Don't worry next year we'll be back for two, then three, then four........................ Fresh is what he is Haha Geez haven't they ever had someone requesting just one red balloon before?

Korea adoption 101

We are excited about this new adventure and guarded at the same time. We thought we'd share some basics:
When our homestudy is done we add it to our dossier and then its sent to Korea and we receive our HSTK (homestudy to korea date) This begins the official wait. Joe and I have agreed to not discuss timelines, timeframes, anticipated time with anyone because of what happened before. Please respect this and know that when we hear anything we'll let you know.
Referral: Our referral will come with pictures and medical info. Most babies are in foster homes and are referred young. After accepting referral, we receive updated info.
Legals: All legal proceedings are done before we get our child in both the US and korea. This makes the time between referral and holding that baby longer than China. It could be a few to several months, but at least we have a picture to stare at and plans to make!!!!
Baby Home: We have the option to travel or to have the baby escorted. Traveling is a short trip about 5-7 days but you get to meet and spend time with the foster family who has cared for your baby for months. Escorting would be into Boston or New York.

Babies are young at time of referral 6-12 months and are very healthy. Whether its a boy or girl will be a total surprise!!!!!!

Florida

May 17-24 we went to Florida. We committed to going there to relax and thats what we did. We didn't talk about adoption stuff at all and I felt great. We laid on the beach, by the pool, and went to a Polynesian show and to butterfly world. All in all we had a great time. Much needed and well deserved.
When we returned we picked up our book we ordered before we left and have begun our required readings. The book is a wealth of info and now I actually can't put it down. We're glad we were recommended to read it.
Our references were mailed, my physical form mailed(Joe's is scheduled for 6/24) and I think thats the only thing we need now. Then our social worker will probably do a homevisit and ask a million more questions. We're looking forward to a busy month.

1st homestudy meeting May 15th

Today was our first homestudy meeting with our new social worker to begin the process to adopt our little bundle from Korea. She had our original homestudy which she had highlighted but had many more questions. We were there for 3 hours with question after question being fired at us. It sort of felt alittle like an interegation..the room was hot, the questions came one after another, and our palms were sweating. It's definately more nervewracking than China and we felt so disconnected. Maybe because we've answered this before, maybe because we're tired of proving ourselves, or maybe because our hearts are so guarded from this past year its hard. We made it very clear we want this to move fast and we are committed to doing whatever to bring our baby home.
Because we started our China adoption pre Hague we didn't have to do any courses or number of hours before. Guess what, we have to do them now. We have assigned reading, online courses, and two seminars at the agency to go to. This is all great education and we're happy to learn about things like attachment and stuff but all this needs to be done before she can write the homestudy. We know each delay can push you further back in line. Oh well, we signed up for a seminar on 6/16 about medical records with a person from the adoption clinic in Boston. It will be nice to be able to put a face to a name of someone there due to the fact that we'll be visiting there hopefully twice. We also signed up for a required group 6/24 run by our social worker. Now we work on getting criminal checked again(they're going to wonder who in the world we are the FBI), letters of reference and on and on. Let the document gathering begin. It's alittle easier this time because we have alot of the documents already.

Goodbye Nana

This goodbye has recently come and gone and we realized we did not do it justice so we thought we'd write to say a goodbye to Joe's Nana. At the age of 94 she passed away quietly and without pain. She was excited about our adoption news and it saddens us that she will never know our children. Things like this make us so sad about the growing wait with China. Our Ava will never get to meet her great grandma, which saddens us tremendously. We asked Joe's mom for Nana's cross which we plan to hang in Ava's room as a special token of Nana.

Earthquakes in China

It has been reported that there was a severe earthquake in China today in the Sichuan province near Chengdu. We pray for all the people of China. The pictures are just too horrible to see. Our thoughts go out to all.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to our mom's!!! Someday I hope to celebrate this day but for now I celebrated to my children in my heart.
Last night we had a surprise 60th birthday for my mom. It was a little early so that it would be a surprise and it definately was. She was totally shocked. We finally got her!!

April 2008

This month has been a whirlwind of adoption activity. We have registered with WHFC to begin an adoption from Korea, we have received our updated homestudy from China, and have told our China agency of our plan. They were so supportive and kind. They are thrilled for us and our social worker can't wait to meet this new little baby. Are we really getting on this roller coaster again?? It looks like it. Sometimes in life you have to open your heart and mind and really listen to what they are saying. Ours are saying GO FOR IT. We now have a piece of our hearts in China and Korea. Yeah
We are officially paperchasing for Korea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I'm typing this. We mailed our application packet in, have been assigned a social worker, and begun gathering documents again. Because our agency with China is China only we have to put together a new dossier and homestudy now. Which means more interviews, more questions, more proving to a total stranger that we will make good parents and that we want this more than anything in the world. More intimate questions, more physicals to prove we are healthy. ugh, ugh double ugh
Can you imagine We could have two beautiful babies at the end of this journey. I'm about ready to jump out of my skin. Joe gets this cute little grin. Bring it on.

April 12, 2008

We attended the info meeting with a guarded heart. Could this really all work out? Could this little baby from Korea be a big brother or sister to our Ava from China? We won't get our hopes up.

March comes to an end

This month has been full of mixed emotions and feelings. There have been many ups and downs and alot of soul searching on both mine and Joe's parts. We both came to one conclusion though: we definately want to remain with China and see it through to the end whatever that end is. So, with that in mind I began to do some investigating. We discussed our options and continued to feel led to adoption so we discussed DSS as well as that other country Korea, which we had originally discussed. DSS still doesn't feel right and after talking to many people we felt its not for us at this time again. We'll never rule anything out though. We continued to search Korea and found 3 agency that work with families in Mass. to place children from Korea. We emailed them and 2 said we'd have to leave China once our baby was home from Korea. We don't want to do this so we found an agency Wide Horizons For Children who just introduced a concurrent adoption option, You'd be able to complete both adoptions as long as they have at least one year between. Yeah this looks promising. They have an info meeting on 4/12. We signed up. Fingers crossed.

Worst week continues

We each walked away from the dumb idea with a pit in our stomaches. As many of you know when I get nervous, anxious, stressed my stomache acts up and this week was no different. I had had enough by Friday, so I stayed home from work. Seeing your reality in black and white shines a whole new perspective on things.
This Sunday was Easter. We had to go along like nothing was wrong when deep down I was so depressed. My parents gave us a baby book for adoptive families. Very sweet

The worst week of our lives

This week has been horrible, horrible, horrible. The wait has been getting hard but I think I've been living in dreamland (what else is new) for awhile now and Joe has seen the writing on the wall more clearly for a few months. This week I have been knocked out of my dreamworld into reality and it doesn't look good.

It all began this weekend when I came up with the great idea...Why don't we get beads and put them in a jar to represent how many days untill we get our referral. We can take as many out each month as are referred and then it can feel like we are doing something. Eventually we would see progress. Well, Joe was trying to spare my feelings and initially said no (I think he knew what would happen and was trying to protect me). But, after much discussions we sat down and crunched numbers. This is what we came up with: we have about 17 months from what they're referring now till us 5/07 so that averages about 480 days to go. If they were to refer say 5 days at a time (which sometimes they don't) it would take 96 months or 8 more years to see a referral. WHAT!!!!! We did it plenty more ways and kept getting no less than 5 more years until a referral. So no, we don't want to put 480 beads in a jar and take out 3,4,5,6 beads each month for 3,4,5,6,7,8 more years. Dumb, dumb, dumb idea.

This dumb idea was the beginning of it all though. Joe, who thinks with his head, has been saying for a few weeks now that we can't sit around and do this with this uncertainty for xxx more years. Me, on the other hand, think with my heart and know that we can't walk away from this. Our daughter grows in our hearts and I have faith that someday we will be together. It's so hard to explain to those who aren't waiting. So, what do we do???

March 15, 2008

I came across a children's book with a ladybug character entitled Home Sweet Home. The ladybug is looking for her home among many different insects until finally she finds just where she was meant to be. Fitting, I thought!! Little things like this get us through the days.

March Updates

Our agency has sent along their updates and it appears that the cutoff is January 4, 2206. To look at the bright side of things at least their finally referring to families with a 2006 LID. Yet, that's still 17 months worth to get through before us, and with only referring a few days a month that 17 months turns into.....well, you do the math.

Original Homestudy to be Updated

At the beginning of March we realized that our homestudy will expire on April 11 and it needs to be updated before this date. Being the organized person that I am I also looked at all the other expiration dates for our fingerprints and immigration and contacted our agency to see what to do about this. We contacted our social worker to tell her of our upcoming expirations also. Due to the fact that nothing has changed in the last year we think she won't need to visit again but rather just write a new report stating the same things.....we are good people, we can't wait for our baby, send her our way!!!.... well, it will go something like that!
These updates were to be expected because remember, we originally thought it would take 18months to see our baby. As you have read, that will not be happening now. We may have to do many more updates on all our paperwork in the coming years. Our agency contacted us to tell us to renew our fingerprints and immigration in the fall. So, we'll go in early fall for the fun task of re-fingerprinting. At least it keeps this adoption real for us.

Happy Valentine's Day

We had a fun weekend celebrating this day of love. We went to a hotel and to watch the tour of Dancing With The Stars. Yes, I know that Joe must love me very much to take me to this show. Believe us he has been getting made fun of for weeks. But come on, all the girls in cute little numbers wasn't half bad either. Seriously, he's great and I know I'm very lucky. I count my lucky stars everyday.
I look so forward to watching Joe fall in love with his daughter that it makes my heart skip a beat. If he treats her half as well as he treats me, she's one lucky girl!!!!

Knitting, Knitting, and more Knitting

We continue to knit our little hearts out to finish those mittens. We have begun to talk to the others at the class and it was brought up about my adoption(from the proud expectant grandma) and everyone was so interested. They asked alot of questions and then of course the teacher showed me many patterns for sweaters, hats, booties, and anything baby cute. I hope to accomplish some stuff during the wait.

February 2008

Updates arrived. The cutoff is now 12/27/05, 8 days. Well thats better than before and inching our way along. Our agency didn't have any referrals this time which is always heartbreaking.

Superbowl Sunday

This year is an exciting one with our team playing against New York. We enter this game with an undefeated season. Go Pats.
We went to Joe's sisters house for a little party. It was a closer game than we thought and uhoh we kept missing balls and getting knocked over, and WE LOST. Well, that was unexpected.
Tonight at the party our niece M who is so excited about her baby cousin joining the family colored us a football in the color red. She told me that she used this color because thats the color of China and thats where my baby is. Its heartwarming how a 5 year old can open her heart and accept something with such joy and no questions. We should all take lessons from the children in our lives, they definately could teach us alot.

Snow storms

Snow, snow, and more snow is falling in China. Record amounts of snowfall are falling and there are reports of establishments with no heat, water, electricity, and food. People are stranded and its definately a dangerous situation. We hope all the children waiting for their forever families are safe and warm. We pray that their nannies and caregivers are safe and can make it safely to care for these children. We pray for all the people of China. This is where our hearts are.
I have always loved snow. I know when there's so much of it it can be dangerous. But, just imagine how beautiful China must look under a blanket of freshly fallen snow!!!

A new hobby

Well, with this long wait I have decided to take up a new hobby that I've always wanted to try. My mom and I have begun a knitting class once a week. Our first project is a pair of mittens. Joe was making fun of me for taking the class saying that I would be in a room full of older folks and it's actually just the opposite. The others are slightly older than me and we've been having fun. I guess all of the older folks already know how to knit!!! Joe won't be making fun when he has nice sweaters and hats to wear (when hes 90 the way I'm knitting right now)haha.
My mom, who also crochets, has decided to conduct a waiting project of her own. She has decided to knit hats for the children of the orphanages. This is so kind and will definately keep her busy. I plan to tackle a security blanket pattern with really nice yarn when this class is over. Wish me luck.

January 2008

Our monthly update arrived and it's still looking pretty bleak. Only 5 days were matched this month and they have only matched children with families who were logged in until 12/19/05. Yeah, thats right!! I said 2005. Ugh. I have been referring to this slow progress as moving at a snails pace, but now I think the snail has decided to go on vacation and rest. Maybe a little scoot from me will get it moving again. If I could find it believe me I would give it the biggest scoot and move it along its way. Congrats to all those seeing their babies faces for the first time. We dream of that moment and hope someday it will come.

Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!! 2008 rang in with a fanfare at Joe's sisters house. There were horns to blow and crowns to wear. Heartbreak is what we felt initially as the new year came. Originally this would be the year for us but now we know that won't be happening. We then thought of how thankful we are for all of our family and friends, their health as well as our own. Cheers to 2008 and hoping someday all of our dreams come true!!!

Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! We had a fun Christmas this year but now for the first Christmas something just seemed to be missing. It was alittle bittersweet this year. We now have this image of our child in our minds, but each month meeting this little one keeps getting further and further away. It was alittle hard to be happy and silly knowing what is happening with the wait. We tried to push through. My grandma had made us a stocking which we laid by our fireplace this year. We won't hang it until our baby comes home. She did recieve some gifts-a rolling ladybug suitcase, a teddy bear, and a hand made sweater. These gifts made what we're going through more real and it felt good. We ended the day in better spirits than when we began. At church the lights were turned off as the choir sang Silent Night. It was so peaceful and beautiful. As Joe and I sat there holding hands by candlelight, I thought that tonight Santa will fly over China and USA, maybe he can give me a ride? For now I'll stick with my hopes and dreams

December 2007

December 5th celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary!!!! Happy Anniversary!!! We still remember that day with such joy-we just had the best time. To celebrate this year we went to a B&B in NH (one we've stayed at before). The weather was cold and snowy and just too romantic. We took a sled ride and did other things which were fun. Our inn was vacant (except for us) on our last night so we had the place to ourselves. We had a great time and we're hoping to be snowed in, but no such luck. The storm came alittle late so we were able to make it out ok. Boooo. We wanted to stay another night!!!
More adoption updates. 8 families saw their child's face this month from our agency. Thats better than last month, but still not moving at lightning speed.
It was 1 year ago that my grandpa passed away. We take his patience and try to hang onto it during this difficult wait. If we could have half of the patience he had, then we'll be ok.

November 2007

This month our monthly update from our agency was alittle different. Due to the slowdown and the snails pace that referrals are coming in, our agency did not receive any referrals this month for the first time!! This is a little discouraging. So, instead of the usual newsletter our director emailed us all a personal letter explaining her visit to China and what info she found. Well, the letter was again specualtions as to the slowdown and trying to encourage all of us to remain strong and positive. I know that my agency is committed to bringing families together and I know their hearts are breaking along with ours. I know they're frustrated too and truly believe they are very good people who care deeply. Thats what makes this even more difficult. If we didn't truly believe this is meant to be it would be easy to walk away but we just can't. We'll continue to hold out hope and keep our hearts and minds open.
This month celebrated a Happy Thanksgiving!!! We had a quiet lunch with my grandma and then went to Joe's sisters later and to my parents also. At the lunch table there was one seat empty. Behind the chair on our sliding doors was perched one ladybug. I guess our baby was here after all. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!

November 3, 2007

We attended the culture class (or as Joe refers to it Culture Club) today. It was very interesting. We learned alot about China, the history, and geography. We learned how to say some phrases in chinese hello, please give me my baby. We hope to use that one some day. The whole day was so interesting and I truly felt so close to her all day. I think it's what we needed after the hard time we've been having lately. It definately lifted our spirits. Every time I go to our agency I get this sense of calm over me and peacefulness. Adoption is definately the path we're supposed to take.
The director of our agency arrived with the retired director of the CCAA who she has been hosting. She had just returned from a trip to China and thought he could share some insight into the slowdown. This man was very nice and I kind of felt bad for him because he was standing in a room full of families who are beginning to lose hope. He shared what he could about the wait and other things and tried to assure us that if you are willing to wait there is a baby waiting at the end. All answers were pretty vague. With no concrete answer for the slowdown, all the vague reasons don't really matter to us. What matters is that we want our baby NOW. One mom stood up and thanked him. She has already adopted a little girl from China (now going back for 2) and most likely this was the man who made it happen on the China side. That was an emotional moment for everyone!!
While there, we also met some email friends who share the same LID as us. It was nice to put a face to a name. In a perfect world these are the people we would travel with but with the increasing wait so many things could change so we just don't know. It was nice to meet them just the same.
On our way home we stopped for dinner and at the table next to us were parents with two little Asian girls. A perfect ending to a great day!!!
Oh and if you were wondering. Joe had the chicken salad and he said it was DELICIOUS. He thinks it had grapes inside. Weird yet tasty.

October 2007

Our annual Halloween party was a hit!!!! It's always so much fun. This year's theme was Disney Characters. We had some interesting costumes. Joe and I of course came as something together. We were slinky dog from Toy Story. I was the front and Joe was the back and then we connected ourselves. We are pretty clever for always finishing the costume the night before. Next year's theme was chosen at random. Stars Wars. Ohh thats a tuff one. Start thinking everyone. May the force be with you.

October 2007

We received some registration forms to fill out regarding the upcoming culture class to be held at CAWLI. The biggest dilemna Joe found was did he want to sign up for chicken salad or roast beef for lunch? We spent many minutes contemplating this and he decided on chicken salad. Hope it's good!!!
This month we put 2 ladybug stickers on Martin's tags as a little reminder of the wait. Joe wouldn't let me buy him a ladybug collar(because he's a boy is what he said) so we compromised and decided on the stickers. I got 2 packages because I have a feeling we'll be replacing them often with this long wait. CAWLI updated us as the wait now being 23 months. This one hit me like a ton of bricks. This has been a very hard month because I think the reality of the situation is starting to set in. The one thing that is keeping us sane is that we truly believe we have a daughter born halfway around the world that we are meant to bring home. We are holding onto the shred of belief for all its worth. We don't know why this has to be so hard and are beginning to feel pretty discouraged. We love talking about our journey with everyone but the questions are beginning to get mord difficult to answer. Right now our hearts say hang in there it will all work out in the end.
This month I left work and burst into tears in the parking lot. I was feeling pretty beaten down about it all. Then I looked at my purse and saw 1 little ladybug. A sign?? I'll take it. It's all I got.

September 2007

We had gone camping this month close to home but it was alot of fun. While there ladybugs found me and landed on my shirt. It's been funny lately. Ladybugs have been appearing in the strangest places especially when I've been feeling down. Our monthly update continues to increase the wait time which is sooooooo difficult. We have begun to wonder what's going on? This month I also discovered a website called China Adopt Talk and its a wealth of info. Much of the info is about the increasing wait and there are many other families who are feeling discouraged. Well, Joe wasn't home yet and I decided to go on the website and read some of the posts which was a big mistake. By the time Joe came home I was crying and sobbing at the computer. They are predicting the wait to continue to increase. At this time we talked and want to remain positive so we will continue on as before.
We actually emailed our agency about an upcoming culture class they hold every year. They responded and think the class will be held in Nov. Well, that's something to do during the wait.

September 2007

The summer is winding down and fall may be fast approaching. It's always around this time and in June when I become sad to have left the classroom and found this new job. September and June were always fun months when teaching and sometimes I kinda miss. Oh well, if I had never found my current job, I would never have met all those families who have adopted. I truly believe that is why I am working where I am and sometimes things work out in mysterious ways! As many of you know that our plan once our child comes home is for me to stop working for awhile and to just be a mom. There are many options with my current job of cutting back and things but I have dreamt of being of mom for so long and want to enjoy every minute for awhile. Joe's excited for me to stay home but is a little jealous that I'll do fun stuff without him (if you know us then you know we don't do many things separately) and are so excited to do things as a threesome. I'm sure we'll be dragging him on our little adventures too.

August 2007

The summer has been going by quickly as usual. We are still flying pretty high from our adoption news and everyone is still pretty eager to talk about it. The wait appears to continue to increase and we're not really sure what exactly that means. Last month they had referred children to families logged in at the beginning of Nov.2005. Lately they have only been referring babies by a few days at a time rather than by a full week or month as they had done previous. Our agency is pretty quiet except for the monthly updates. They are really good about getting back to you if you call but Joe and I continue to hold out hope that things will change and level off, and eventually speed back up. We hope it's not false hope and comes back to bite us in the end. For right now we still feel like this is where we are supposed to be, so we will wait and see.

July 2007

Happy 4th of July!!! We had a small cookout with family to celebrate the day. Poor little Martin, he's so afraid of fireworks that this holiday makes him so nervous.
After the 4th we went up to a bed and breakfast in Kennybunkport Maine for a few days. It was so relaxing and fun. We spent alot of time on the porch, rocking and reading. We walked around to different stores and enjoyed being together.
We received another email from CAWLI with an update that the wait has increased to 20 months. It looks like we won't be seeing our sweet baby by Christmas after all. We have also connected with some other waiting families through email. They all seem nice and I'm excited to connect with more families going through this process. It's always nice to talk to people who know what your going through.
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me!!! I hope it won't be too many more birthday celebrations without the pitter patter of little feet.

June 2007

This month has begun and we're still flying high from all of the excitement from the previous months. Since we are now officially logged in we will be receiving monthly newsletters from our agency updating us on any progress/changes. This update stated that the wait has grown now to 19 months. We hope this isn't the trend but will stay positive nonetheless.
This month we have started receiving little gifts to celebrate our decision to adopt and our future baby. We bought a tote which we will keep these precious gifts in until we finally have our baby. Joe has one rule that he has instructed everyone to follow ABSOLUTELY NO CLOTHES. That means my mom and I will have to pass by all those cute dresses and bows until referral time. Oh well, we can still window shop!
One gift Joe bought me was the softest stuffed elephant. We thought this would be appropriate as elephants are pregnant for around the same time we anticipate to be "paper pregnant" for. I can just picture a sweet baby dragging that elephant through the mud. Too cute!!
This month also brought a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sweet Joe. He had a great day.